Friday, November 21, 2008

this morning

the first snow in berlin. while i was sitting on the train through the city and looking out the window i watched berlin turn from rain soaked to snow flaked.

have you ever noticed that snow bounces off your pants while you briskly walk to your final destination? (whoooooeeey, i just got an idea...) when i arrived at work i was freezing but most of my clothes were dry. most importantly my pants. nothing worse than sitting at your desk in underwear with your clothes drying on the heater. been there, done that...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

unwort des tages

haftnotizwürfel. weil det so sexy jefääääääährlisch klingt! wie 12 jahre ohne bewährung im offenen vollzug mit herbert, dem pazifistischen axtmörder, klaus, dem massigen kleinganoven, und boris, dem russischen mafioso.

Friday, November 07, 2008

the book of faces

i like the idea of a book made of faces. it would contain all kinds of faces: chubby, skinny, long, bony, round, black, white. but would it be a book with pictures of faces or is that not too easy? too boring?

wouldn't it have to be a book that gives the whole world just one face? in my imagination it would be a book that was made up of pieces of all kinds of faces from all over the world from as many people as possible. in the end the book of faces would look like a face itself. it would tell the story of all the faces it's made up of but one wouldn't have to read a word. it would show itself in this one image: the book of faces. the world's face.

if i was a photographer or an artist in general that would be my next project: collect pictures (or plaster casts???) of faces and then create one face. what would it look like? would it be anyone i might know? would it be ugly or not facelike at all?

well, if i was a normal person i would just get online on and chat with my friends and upload pictures and all that stuff. i would never think about the meaning of that word they created. did they think about it when they first came up with it? they must have. i wonder what they imagine what a book of faces would look like...

hmmmm. or maybe they meant the faces of books? omigod, a whole new dimension of thoughts is opening up... noooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Monday, October 13, 2008

dinner time

i made pasta with a vegie tomatoe sauce tonight. i do that sometimes, actually i make variations of the same dish quite frequently. gotta feed the troops somehow, hey! anyway, one thing is definitely consistent: i always have to put my clothes in the laundry straight away. why? because it's usually full of red tomatoe sauce hehehe. can you believe it?

so next time i should probably either get undressed before making dinner or be practical and wear an apron... do any of you guys actually own one? god, get a life! i'd rather flash my cheeks!!! YEY!

so what am i gonna make for dinner tomorrow???

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


my mirror.

my mirror and i have a fascinating relationship. every morning and every night it tells me who i am, even if i think i might be someone else.

as a child i always used to get confused when i looked at myself in the mirror. somehow i felt different from the person i would see in front of me. i would make faces and look at myself from all the different angles (the advantages of a folding mirror!) to find out what other people were seeing. it took me a long time to come to terms with that distinction between myself as i see it and myself other people see. i guess you get used to it...

now my mirror tells me - AGAIN! - that i have a notoriously red nose. yes it's burned because it's summer. but that's not it. i ALWAYS have a red nose. at high school my favourite teacher would always pull jokes (because of course i'm a notorious late-comer...), so that when i would enter the class room late as i was and with a red nose she would say: inga, must have been late last night, huh? too much to drink? ho ho ho. i would never really get embarrassed because she was allowed. i liked her. anyway, my point is: i always have a red nose.

my mirror also tells me i have notoriously unruly hair. it's curly and it's growing out. once when i was young it was pretty long but i'm over that. so now it's shoulder length and i'm thinking about letting it cut again. everybody tells me though i should let it grow. i mean, it's bloody inconvenient. even if everybody thinks it's so lovely and all... i don't know. i guess i have to think about it. like everyone else in this world i do care about what other people think. bloody inconvenient that is!

i could go on and on about mirrors and self-image and metaphorical implications but i'll spare you. it's late.

conclusion: mirrors are notoriously devious. they never tell you what you want to hear. or see. only sometimes. rarely. still, one can't do without, can one?

on that note, good night, sleep tight. and mirrorless dreams!

ps: i think notorious is a great word!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

a question for my male readers

it is summer. many germans might dispute this fact, solely because a lot of the time it's either too cold or too hot, it's too dry or too rainy, and if none of these things apply it's too windy. there are many reasons why summer is never good enough. germans seem to have this pessimistic gene that never allows them to actually enjoy whatever is going on. there is always a reason to complain, huh! maybe it's not just german but then it is definitely very european, don't you agree?

anyway, back to the reason why i'm posting this today: summer is one thing, fashion another. male fashion in particular can be very disturbing, so here it is:

WHY do (some? many? most?) men wear shorts (because it is summer) and then pull their socks so high around their calves that there is almost no space for their skin to breathe let alone tan??? i mean not that i fancy looking at a lot of hairy and pale male legs but what is the problem with you guys? give your calves some space! especially in summer! are you afraid it might rain any minute so you're prepared for the cold?

well, maybe it's just pragmatic. isn't that what they say about both men and germans?

do what you have to do but PLEASE don't take the same morning train as me!!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

i wish!

... i had a pillow. with me. at ALL times!!!

my next day off is friday. i just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! stay in bed the whole day, read, doze off, cuddle my pillow, read some more, maybe go for a walk, get or make something to eat, go back to bed or lie on the couch, read, doze off, cuddle my pillow etc.

i extremely dislike (previous phrase has been censored by myself) my alarm clock!!! that's the only downside with working weekends. it's gotten to the point that i wake up BEFORE my alarm clock!! can you believe it??? it's like the knowledge that i have to get up early is so stressful for me that i can't relax at all. instead i just wake up before my alarm clock has a chance to, just to stare at the time in disbelief, turn around and the moment i'm about to fall asleep again, the bloody thing pierces right through my dream world... (devoted readers might already know of my troubled relationship with mornings and alarm clocks).

WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHoooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! right, i'm a whinger. yes. i know!

besides my being tired i am very excited about tonight! marieke's play SPIELTRIEB premieres tonight and i'll be witness to it! i hope she's still in one piece after several months of basically working two jobs. YOU ROCK, girl!!!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

funny berlin

Saturday, May 03, 2008


most of the time i feel almost. almost happy, almost heartbroken, almost relieved, almost awake, almost in the mood for exercise, almost busy... in bed, in grass, in cars, in front of computers sitting on desks, listening to music vacuuming or writing...

what is left of most of the time are instances of joy, fear, hatred, love, desire, wholeness. little avalanches that flood my brain and tickle my toes.

AND THEN all of a sudden you hit your shin, you spill hot coffee on your lap, you get moved around like a soccer trophy, someone you love is too tired to talk, you get caught speeding (AGAIN!), the sun stops shining and you're sitting in your new office on a weekend while no-one's there except your most annyoing colleague.

it's may and horses snicker. yey!

Friday, February 29, 2008

turkish delights

1. rising early - despite the fact that it was supposed to be a holiday, we frequently got a wake-up call at six in the morning. it didn't matter that no-one had ever asked for any such thing...

2. smiling not recommended - politeness gives a lot of space for interpretation... too much space. especially for the male turk.

3. ancient greek history - apparently non-existent in the area of today's turkey. and if you wanna know why there are so many greek inscriptions on the ancient sites, the answer is very simple: greek writing was so popular back then that the romans used it too. latin was a dead language even in those times, hey!

4. please wear your blinkers - if you look around too much you might notice all the garbage on the side of the road... we love plastic bottles!!!

5. no bending over in jeans - if you do that you might find yourself asked by 3 fifty something male pigs if you could please solve the riddle: are you wearing underwear???

6. not in times of crisis - going on a package tour is a game of russian roulette in itself. relationship troubles diminish your chances of winning the game. severely!

7. home sweet home - there's no place like home, that's for sure!

BUT if you ignore points 1 to 7 one could say that it was a brilliant holiday...

Monday, February 18, 2008

doris day in da house

shey seraaaaaaaah, seraaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wotevaaaa willl beeeeeeeee will beeeeeeeee...

laughing hard, aerobics at work.

no one will probably get this but i'm in tears at the momenttttttttttt

i wish we would broadcast instead of sometimes. it would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better and funnier. believe me!

Friday, February 15, 2008

the swine in you

ragged shadow on greyish concrete
moving up up up
towards the sun
towards the sky
not knowing why

immature love on purple skin
going fast fast fast
fading away
growing insane
not knowing why

winter night falling over woollen hats
freezing cold cold cold
drawing your breath
embracing the dark
not knowing why

cloudless mornings in picture frame windows
dozing off off off
cuddling up
dreaming happiness
not knowing why

laboured exercise after a long day at work
asking why why why
fighting yourself
killing the swine
knowing it's done

a bit wanky but my contribution to the challenge. going home, ciao belli

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

scharf und schärfer

scharfsinn ist mein stichwort, rieke,
geschliffen wird die klinge noch,
mit ruhe und geduld'ger liebe
anstatt dem aufruhr unterjocht.

aufruhr jedoch s'der welten lohn,
wenn ich mit ungeschärfter klinge
den alten dschungel der emotion
versuche zu durchdringen.

geschärft ist's nun,
die zeit heilt alle wunden.
was scharfe Worte tun,
mag schärfere klinge zu bekunden.

wohlauf, ihr süßen nulpen,
mag kommen doch was wolle.
beschenken lasst euch mit tulpen,
so oder so ick find eusch dolle.

yep. so ist dat.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

blum, ein wolf mit vornahm "butter",

lachte keck und sagte nur:
komm doch mit auf meinen kutter
dort lehr ich DIR das abitur.

posenrose ganz verlegen
schlug mit ihren äuglein auf.
butter, lecker, buttersegen,
und das schicksal nahm sein' lauf.

so, sis is mei kontribjuschn. heppi end, wie imma. yey!

und wer dit hier nisch verschdeht, der möge hier mal drauf klicken!

Monday, January 28, 2008

behold thy wicked charms
these are my final qualms

the turn of six it is
i've got to go and p..s

upon return a rose
was stuck up in my nose

i saw this face reflected
that was a bit neglected

in shock and utter horror
i screamed: 't is an error!

though church bells chimed in terror
the sixth chime wasn't an error

proclaiming: 't is the end
and thus i left to repent.

yep, this is me being poetic at the end of the day... say no more!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

go gertrude go gertrude go gertrude go

Rose sieht einen "schönen Baum und sie dacht ja er ist rund aber rundherum werde ich Rose ist eine Rose ist eine Rose reinritzen und dann ist’s einfach da und ich höre nirgends mehr irgendwas das mir in der Nacht Angst macht."

G.S. persönlich: “Also hören Sie! Ich bin doch kein Narr. Ich weiß, dass man im täglichen Leben nicht sagt, 'is a ... is a ... is a ...'. Aber ich denke, dass in dieser Zeile die Rose zum ersten Mal seit hundert Jahren in der Dichtung rot ist.“

„Kann Rose eine Rose sein wenn ihre Lieblingsfarbe Blau ist?“

in "The World Is Round"

Friday, January 25, 2008

the death of a rose

beheaded and sad it thus sat on the sill,
awaiting new buds to sprout now but still

the fading light would hide its open wounds,
yonder sunrise whistling promising tunes.

though no light and no tune may resurrect her.
she may never again feel a moment of spur.

the rose is dead, her body withering with age
one can only leave her and not feel its rage.

mann, ey.

ich muss jetzt mal gehen und meiner gebärmuddi ne rose kaufen.


auf meinem fensterbrette
stand mal ein rosenbette
mit leuchtend blüten fette
doch niemand konnt sie rette

denn heimlich kam die rieke
in ihren klamotten schnieke
versteckt im rock ne pieke

ich brauch nen kaffee. kommste miete?

geköpfte rosen

wie unpoetisch...


506,29 Euros later:

and that's what it looks like inside...

Danke Volker!!!

Friday, January 18, 2008


this is my new mutterbrett:

the story goes as follows: being frustrated and all about my lot as an apple widow yesterday i surfed the net and found a fitting motherboard online. they wanted $429 for it, around €300. thennnnnnnnn i talked myself out of it. it worked until this afternoon when i had to think of my baby sitting in a cupboard in my room awaiting a better life in the apple afterworld. so i sent a message to this freelance apple emergency guy, who not only told me the motherboard was a good deal but also made me a good offer on the repair. i got really excited. understandably, don't you think!

anyway, off i went to chew everyone's ear off who wasn't up in a tree by three. then i called my parents, who weren't there, so i called my sister and got the financing under way.

but the best thing is still coming: i got back online and because you could negotiate the price i sent an offer. what do think i offered? instead of $429 plus $36 shipping costs??? i offered them $400... HEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHIHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA plus shipping costs... HEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHIHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA again!

so much for my bargaining talent. well, of course they accepted the offer (not that they needed to think about it a lot...). if i'm lucky enough it all works out fine and my baby is gonna live again. if not i'm gonna CRY. or get drunk or break my foot kicking a light pole on the street. whatever comes to mind first.

so, peoples, pray for me and my baby!!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

mean thing

i'm being tortured by my colleagues who i share a threesome office with. we were thrown together only recently after a restructuring of teams and office space. i think i was one of very few people who didn't have to move.

instead i now share the room with two girls who both've got macbooks. just to remind you: my only two-year old powerbook g4 passed away about two months ago. well, the motherboard did, its heart so to say. it's a shock of course with a pretty expensive gadget like an apple notebook (new back then: more than 2,200 euros). to fix it would have cost me nearly 1,500 euros. a new macbook, also with a superdrive, is cheaper than that.

anyway, to make my life even more miserable one of my colleagues had her new macbook sent to the office, unpacked it today and played with it. right in front of me. the other one had hers with her as well, so we could have had an apple party if it wasn't for the fact that i'm an apple widow. a very frustrated one.

i'm lucky enough to have friends with a sense of compassion and old powerbooks they don't need at the moment but are still working even if a little slow and without all the extras mine had. i shouldn't complain. i do anyway because I WANT MY BABY BACK!!!

there's a motherboard currently on offer on ebay. yesterday i thought i had come to terms with my lot. today i'm not so sure anymore. i'm really thinking about investing money again but is it worth it? that's the question. bloody bastards. apple should be ashamed of themselves for giving me grief like that and then do nothing about it. it's not right. mope!

i can't afford the motherboard anyway and it's even more frustrating to keep thinking about it. i have to let go... whoooooooohooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Apple Customer Support... yeah right!

Sehr geehrte Frau Wittstock,

vielen Dank für Ihre Mail. Als ich meinen Beschwerdebrief schrieb, war mir durchaus klar, dass ich keine rechtlichen Ansprüche mehr habe, weder Garantie noch Gewährleistung.

Trotzdem fand ich es wichtig, meiner Enttäuschung und meinem Ärger darüber Ausdruck zu verleihen, dass ein vermeintlich hochwertiges und dementsprechend teures Produkt wie das Apple Powerbook G4 nach relativ kurzer Lebensdauer, einfach aufhört zu funktionieren. Das Dramatische daran ist allerdings, dass es nicht nur ein kleines defektes Teil ist, was man für ein paar Hundert Euro ersetzen lassen kann, sondern gleich das Herzstück des Notebooks, das Motherboard. Und dieses Motherboard als Ersatzteil kostet allein ungefähr genauso viel wie ein neues MacBook.

Ich habe mich in mehreren Foren online kundig gemacht und habe herausgefunden, dass mein Fall kein Einzelfall ist. Im Gegenteil, das Motherboard vieler G4 Notebooks scheint innerhalb der ersten zwei Jahre nach Kaufdatum seinen Geist aufzugeben. Bei meinen Recherchen bin ich ebenfalls oft auf eine Verbindung zwischen dem Austauschprogramm der G4 Batterien und dem defekten Motherboard gestoßen. In Hinsicht auf die Gewährleistungspflicht bei elektronischen Geräten scheint mir dies, wenn auch nicht mehr in meinem Fall, für andere Betroffene interessant zu sein, da man so als Käufer vielleicht beweisen könnte, dass das Problem mit dem Motherboard womöglich durch die defekte Batterie ausgelöst wurde, die bewiesenermaßen schon von Anfang an defekt war, also auch zum Zeitpunkt des Kaufs. Und dies wiederum wird abgedeckt durch die Gewährleistungspflicht des Herstellers.

Bezüglich der Reaktion von Apple hätte ich mir gewünscht, dass – wenn solche Fehler schon nicht zu vermeiden sind – zumindest den Betroffenen mehr entgegengekommen wird. Zum Beispiel finde ich es in diesen Fällen angebracht, das Motherboard als Ersatzteil so erschwinglich zu machen, dass sich eine Reparatur lohnt. Ich würde durchaus 300 oder 400 Euro in ein neues Motherboard investieren, um mein G4 Notebook wieder funktionstüchtig zu machen, aber nicht mehr als 1400,- Euro. Dafür dass man schon bei der Anschaffung des G4 deutlich mehr als doppelt so viel bezahlt hat als für ein normales (wie ich zu dem Zeitpunkt dachte aus gutem Grund), wäre dies – meiner bescheidenen Meinung nach – eine angemessene Art, mit diesem Problem umzugehen, ohne seine treuen und wirklich Apple begeisterten Kunden, zu denen ich mich bisher zählte, vor den Kopf zu stoßen.

Ich für meinen Teil werde vorerst meine Apple Begeisterung für mich behalten und nicht mehr Familie, Freunde, Bekannte und Kollegen damit anstecken. Und komischerweise finde ich das sehr schade.

Wie gesagt, vielen Dank für Ihre Mühe und trotz allem freundliche Grüße.

Von: Iris Wittstock []
Gesendet: Mittwoch, 2. Januar 2008 16:01
Betreff: Ihr Brief an den Applestore vom 14.12.07

Sehr geehrte ...,

vielen Dank fuer Ihren Brief an die Abteilung des deutschen Apple Aftersales.

Ich bedauere zu lesen, dass Powerbook G4, 15 " einen Mangel aufweisst, der nur durch eine Reperatur von 1477,35 EURO zu beheben ist.

Leider koennen wir Ihnen in Bezug auf dieses Problem nicht entgegenkommen, da Sie sich mit Ihrem Produkt mit ca. 14 Montaten weit ausserhalb der Garantie befinden.

Ich bedauere die Umstaende, welche Ihnen hierdurch entstanden sind.

Mit freundlichen Gruessen

Iris Wittstock

Apple Store Customer Support

Apple Operations Europe

Directors: Cathy Kearney (Irish), Gary Wipfler, Peter Oppenheimer & Timothy Cook (United States of America)

my complaint to apple

Apple Computer International
After Sales Dept.
Hollyhill Industrial Estate
Cork, Republic of IRELAND

Bitte um Stellungnahme

Berlin, den 14.12.2007
Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

Sie fragen in Ihrer Werbung: Warum ein Mac? Ich sage es Ihnen: Mac Computer sind ästhetisch wunderbare, benutzerfreundliche und sehr verlässliche Maschinen, die dem Nutzer nicht nur das Leben leichter machen, sondern auch verschönern.

Am 25.10.2005 habe ich für meinen persönlichen Gebrauch ein 15“ Powerbook G4 gekauft. Ich habe mich damit bewusst gegen einen PC Laptop entschieden, der mir trotz des extremen Preisunterschieds als weniger vertrauenswürdig und verlässlich erschien. Das ist nun ein wenig mehr als zwei Jahre her. Vor zwei Wochen allerdings hat sich mein Powerbook einfach nicht mehr gerührt. Man sagte mir dann im Apple Center, dass die Hauptplatine kaputt sei, das hieße also 1477,35 Euro für eine Reparatur, was einem wirtschaftlichem Totalschaden gleichkommt.

Ich habe im Internet recherchiert und bin dabei auf sehr viele „Mitbetroffene“ gestoßen, deren Mac Notebooks ein ähnliches Schicksal ereilte.

Mein Powerbook G4 ist zu diesem Zeitpunkt gerade mal 2 Jahre alt, so können Sie sicherlich verstehen, dass dies für mich als begeisterten Apple Kunden sehr ärgerlich und enttäuschend ist und mein Vertrauen in Apple Produkte extrem mindert. Da dieses Problem anscheinend recht häufig auftritt und Apple sich dazu nicht äußert oder dem Kunden in irgendeiner Weise entgegen kommt, habe ich große Lust, diesen Missstand als Journalistin auch zu publizieren.

Vielleicht haben Sie jedoch bereits eine Lösung und bieten Ihren Kunden z.B. eine Übernahme der Kosten für die Reparatur an.

Im Anhang finden Sie eine Kopie meines Presseausweis und des Kostenvoranschlags für die Reparatur der defekten Hauptplatine.

Ich verbleibe mit freundlichen Grüßen und in Erwartung einer Antwort innerhalb der nächsten zwei Wochen.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


today is another beautifully cold and sunny day and it's gonna be crammed with all kinds of itsy bits that i have to take care of at work. i'm feeling quite optimistic that it's gonna be good today.

and after work i'm going to the swimming pool. i'm actually looking forward to it and that makes me really proud of myself. maybe i should thank the kinesiology woman though because even though i'm constantly planning to do exercise i never get around to it. there's always some excuse. but she made me choose one day of the week and verbally commit to it. magic! the mind is a powerful thing! when you know how to work it that is hehehe.

Monday, January 14, 2008

not finished yet

Chapter 2: applied kinesiology

ak is a kind of therapy where communication with the body is more important than words that come out of your mouth. the mind can confuse things and make them up and deny stuff but your body remembers everything and if you can read it properly you can find out the truth. that's at least how i understood the theory.

a friend of mine, a devoted fan of kinesiology, recommended this woman to me who's apparently as good as a witch when it comes to solving problems people have. i admit i have some. not the kind of american psycho ones but i got to this point just recently where i am not really desperate but would like to change something or find out what the real problem is in the first place to be able to tackle it.

i was given a session for my birthday from friends and also colleagues (they collected for me... cute, huh!) so off i went to marion freund and astonishingly enough it was a pretty good and relieving experience. with this woman talking to me and asking me stuff and listening to my body rather than my words i wound up crying at one point. i just got really sad about having lost my first little boyfriend in kindergarden when i was 4 because we had to move house to a different part of town. besides the time when i almost drowned as a three year old it's one of the only vivid memories i've got of my early childhood but i never attached any trauma to it. when in response to her question i brought it up she held my head in her hands and told me about how it might have affected me ever since, you know: fear of commitment, of not being loved, of not being heard and the anger and frustration as a result. i got so sad and i didn't know where it came from. extremely odd and also liberating in a way.

she wants me to consult her again in a month's time. i made an appointment and i'd really like to go. the only problem is that it's quite expensive. and although i'm pretty impressed with the session itself and the kind of treatment i don't want to have to get involved in this search for oneself. i'm not having a midlife crisis yet and i'm not in my late thirties fearing to cross the threshold to four zero.

anyhow, it was an amazing experience and if i have 70 euro to spare next month i'll go back and open myself up some more. the thing is that after the session there were so many open questions and also memories and feelings and i think i need to relate them to the ones i had during the session over the weekend. yes. that's it.

Monday, January 07, 2008

in the (k)now

what's that?

that's what!

bottomline: plastic frames don't suit handsome parking meters