Monday, October 30, 2006

R.I.P. - she died with studentenfutter in her hand

See, I'd rather die with a falafel in my hand but it seems that it'll be a bag of mixed nuts and fruit (which they call student's chow here in Germyland). See also: I'm not even a bloody student anymore and I still have to eat that stuff, otherwise I might die due to a lack of nutrition (which is called malnutrition in a lot of countries).

The bottom line of these highly philosophical statements is: I'M HUNGRY! And I still need to sit here for another hour with nothing to do because nobody seems to bother to share their recently upgraded knowledge with me. Thing is, I'm not only hungry but also BORED to death, which is why there's a good chance for me to die with my head stuck to my keyboard and a bag of nuts in my hand. I'd rather hold someone's hand or so but there's no-one sharing my office with me and so nobody will even notice if I die apart from the cleaning lady who comes here early in the morning every day of the week but then it'd be too late for resuscitation... I know, you know! I keep myself up to date by reading crime fiction.

And now: I'M SCARED! How can people die with falafels in their hand? Is that only an Oz phenomenon? Is it contagious? Would I look like this guy in the picture, even if it is a bag of nuts in my hand?

If you don't hear from me any time soon, call the cleaning lady! Or watch the film!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ola olé!

Apart from a severe lack of sleep I'm doing much better than last time, if anyone is interested. I mean yesterday and the day before I was doing even better because my supervisor gave me some real positive feedback on Friday on stuff that I don't have a clue about. Everyone was really proud of me, even myself. Today I had to find out though that she's basically being a nice boss to me because I'm only a trainee. Means: I don't know much, I can't do much, but she thinks I learn fast. Which I do! I think...

Did you know that organic products are sooooo much better for you? Well, I did but now I DO. Not that I'm earning any money apart from the necessary but I'm starting to feel weird about buying supermarket food. I might actually become a better person doing this job. Crazy!

And now some insiders for my regular audience: Did you know that Berlin actually DOES drown in dogshit? Well, I knew but now I KNOW: dogs all over the city leave about 55 TONS of dogshit behind DAILY!!!

What about a forum discussion on that one... then again: who cares? I don't live in Friedrichshain, the kingdom of the dogshitters. No offense!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Not thief-proof

I reckon this is not my month, not in many ways anyway. Not like last month or next month. October is officially my favourite hate-month. Bad luck whereever I go. First that thing with my big toe (believe me! All you need to know is that it hurt like hell... because then you can give me some sympathy!!!), then biological circumstances that I don't need to go into either. And THEN I lose money that does not even belong to me. Well, I guess I should look on the bright side: I made someone REALLY happy. Could also have been worse. I mean, someone could have stepped on my toe or something...

The good news is: I can pay back the lost money with money that doesn't belong to me either. See how long it takes for the office to demand their money back... or how long it takes for my bank account to die of malnutrition... or how long it takes for some Star Trekkies from the future to come and rescue us from those worldly necessities like the dependency on paper slips with numbers and copper engraved heads of weird and infamously famous people...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Manipulating the mind, take one

Just so you don't think (you think?) I'm only ever going to be a proud auntie from now on...

While I'm being a proud auntie I'm manipulating my faithful readers with some clever product placement. The only downside is: most of my faithful readers were part of the production of the cleverly placed product... can't have everything, hey! But maybe I can cleverly suggest to them that buying even more copies of the masterpiece GLEISDREIECK for themselves is equivalent to instant karma and frowning babies? You think? (again?)

Bubbles and Gleisdreiecks i