Sheep plus murder = Glennkill

Latest news from the editorial office at Tier.TV:

Sheep are different. Still, they can solve murder among (wo)men . If you don't believe me, read this:

Or watch our (my!!!) programme in December (you might have to search for it, because we'll be aired on a few different channels from December on. March 2007 - or so it is hoped - is final take-off for our own channel!) Fun stuff.

And now: Speaker's Corner.

I had to spend hours in the cold yesterday, stopping people on their way to whereever they were going to try and convince them to give a statement about animal protection in front of a camera. Instantly I can think of 4572365 nicer things to pass working time with. People can be nasty...

R.I.P. - she died with studentenfutter in her hand

See, I'd rather die with a falafel in my hand but it seems that it'll be a bag of mixed nuts and fruit (which they call student's chow here in Germyland). See also: I'm not even a bloody student anymore and I still have to eat that stuff, otherwise I might die due to a lack of nutrition (which is called malnutrition in a lot of countries).

The bottom line of these highly philosophical statements is: I'M HUNGRY! And I still need to sit here for another hour with nothing to do because nobody seems to bother to share their recently upgraded knowledge with me. Thing is, I'm not only hungry but also BORED to death, which is why there's a good chance for me to die with my head stuck to my keyboard and a bag of nuts in my hand. I'd rather hold someone's hand or so but there's no-one sharing my office with me and so nobody will even notice if I die apart from the cleaning lady who comes here early in the morning every day of the week but then it'd be too late for resuscitation... I know, you know! I keep myself up to date by reading crime fiction.

And now: I'M SCARED! How can people die with falafels in their hand? Is that only an Oz phenomenon? Is it contagious? Would I look like this guy in the picture, even if it is a bag of nuts in my hand?

If you don't hear from me any time soon, call the cleaning lady! Or watch the film!

Ola olé!

Apart from a severe lack of sleep I'm doing much better than last time, if anyone is interested. I mean yesterday and the day before I was doing even better because my supervisor gave me some real positive feedback on Friday on stuff that I don't have a clue about. Everyone was really proud of me, even myself. Today I had to find out though that she's basically being a nice boss to me because I'm only a trainee. Means: I don't know much, I can't do much, but she thinks I learn fast. Which I do! I think...

Did you know that organic products are sooooo much better for you? Well, I did but now I DO. Not that I'm earning any money apart from the necessary but I'm starting to feel weird about buying supermarket food. I might actually become a better person doing this job. Crazy!

And now some insiders for my regular audience: Did you know that Berlin actually DOES drown in dogshit? Well, I knew but now I KNOW: dogs all over the city leave about 55 TONS of dogshit behind DAILY!!!

What about a forum discussion on that one... then again: who cares? I don't live in Friedrichshain, the kingdom of the dogshitters. No offense!

Not thief-proof

I reckon this is not my month, not in many ways anyway. Not like last month or next month. October is officially my favourite hate-month. Bad luck whereever I go. First that thing with my big toe (believe me! All you need to know is that it hurt like hell... because then you can give me some sympathy!!!), then biological circumstances that I don't need to go into either. And THEN I lose money that does not even belong to me. Well, I guess I should look on the bright side: I made someone REALLY happy. Could also have been worse. I mean, someone could have stepped on my toe or something...

The good news is: I can pay back the lost money with money that doesn't belong to me either. See how long it takes for the office to demand their money back... or how long it takes for my bank account to die of malnutrition... or how long it takes for some Star Trekkies from the future to come and rescue us from those worldly necessities like the dependency on paper slips with numbers and copper engraved heads of weird and infamously famous people...

Manipulating the mind, take one

Just so you don't think (you think?) I'm only ever going to be a proud auntie from now on...

While I'm being a proud auntie I'm manipulating my faithful readers with some clever product placement. The only downside is: most of my faithful readers were part of the production of the cleverly placed product... can't have everything, hey! But maybe I can cleverly suggest to them that buying even more copies of the masterpiece GLEISDREIECK for themselves is equivalent to instant karma and frowning babies? You think? (again?)

Bubbles and Gleisdreiecks i

José!

I'm currently reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which the title of today's blog entry is referring to (just in case you don't know why things are happening the way they're happening). I should be far too busy to update the world about my exciting little life, then again I think it's important that I do. I'm convinced that it makes a difference. At least to some poor buggers that call themselves my friends.

Anyways, I've spent 3 and a half weeks in the working world so far. Amazing changes include:
1. friends and family think that my job is my hobby... my mother wants to give me books about pets and animals, even though it's not my birthday any time soon and I never expressed any such wish. Also, my girlfriend calls me to make sure I don't miss the great BBC special on the animal world on telly. What the? (little insider for people who've read what I'm reading)
2. no surfing the net in my spare time anymore... I'm spending enough time in front of a screen as it is while I'm at work (I'm actually using this expression now: "at work..." weird, huh!)
3. days have become so long all of a sudden... true and false at the same time. They are longer because I can read the clock and I know that getting up at 8 is early (for me at least). They are shorter because time goes by really quickly when you've got stuff to do, so all of a sudden it's 6 p.m. and you're on your way home and wondering what the? you were doing all day.
4. Kleinvieh macht auch Mist... working is expensive: coffee, smokes, food, treats, public transport etc. Realisation: I need more money!

Amazing constants:
1. I'm still not a morning person.
2. I still hate having to think about money.
3. I still need to think about money.
4. There's a LOT of people that I'd love to see more regularly.
5. Foot and I are still together and trying to work through our problems.
6. Sunday is Sunday is Sunday.

Amazing changes to come:
1. Baby poop and heart-breaking, eardrum-bursting crying on a regular basis. Mostly at night.
2. More defined and darker circles around my eyes.
3. More people running away from me, especially in the morning.
4. Panic attacks from settling-down-phobia (girlfriend, job, family... the boring existence of a "normal" person is waiting around the corner...) Am I ever going to go back to Melbourne again??? Will I be stuck and not notice forever and ever and ever?

Olé José! What the? You're going to catch a colder. Which I already know.

Jedi&Co

May I introduce you to the Sailor's Union Return Committee: Phonejunkie Nin.A, Horsewhisperer Skully Indelicato, Generalissima Constipatina, Eagle Eye Handsup and the Smiling Famosa Blueshirt. The talented photographer is behind the camera. Unfortunately you cannot see her but maybe you're lucky after all...

It was an adventure BUT like many others this one had a happy end: the Jedi returned and saved the committee from committing too much.


Enough of words, let the pictures speak for themselves: