As a lot of you guys know I'm NOT a morning person, never have been, never will be. And now I've got an even better excuse to not get up than just being a grumpy bugger: the prospect of hobbling and crutching around, of manoeuvering on one foot in the shower, in the kitchen, in the lounge room... You know what happens when everything happens on only one foot? I was shocked this morning when I had a look at my legs dangling from the bed: one is at least fifty percent bigger than the other!!! I'm a one-sided skinny-legs vs. massive-legs crutch operator! Looks awfully strange.
Well, I still get up in the morning (midday) and do the routine (which takes more than an hour right now). I still shower and make coffee. I even do some work! I sent off an article for a possible book pulication yesterday. Was very proud of myself. Now I've only got two deadlines left until the end of the month. One is the Making Of of our little film, the other urges me to get more transcriptions done! Which reminds me...
Have to run (hahahahahaaaaaah)
Friday, March 24, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
hospital report
Back from the nirvana of Spandau. Now I've got my very own hospital story to tell! You might not be able to fathom how important this is BUT after 4 days of two old ladies on either side of my bed (me in the middle of it all) telling me their love, life, family AND hospital histories, having a story of your own is like having attained a membership to a very special club! Better than a TV soap. 24 hour entertainment and all for free! See, one of them was almost deaf, so whenever she got going the other one would not be able to make her opinions and - no doubt - highly significant stories heard and that would upset her a little bit. Little Inga caught in the middle would try to do her best as a talk master or mediator but it always ended (well, it never ended but that's another story...) with the other one exploding her unheard stories into my ears when the deaf lady eventually got distracted.
Anyway, I escaped the never-ending story last Friday and since then I'm experiencing the ups and downs of a life as a physically impaired Berliner. I don't really do much but what I do takes a LLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNG time. The simplest things suddenly become missions impossible. but don't worry: I will survive! It's only another 4 and a half months after all... no big deal! (I hope you noticed the underlying sarcasm in this statement... whinge!)
Ok, and now enjoy the photo of sick foot and healthy foot! (Please notice the pattern of my new couch! Nice, ey!). The other one shows me in my new surroundings: my sick corner including a physiotherapeutical device with which I can do physio for beginners without leaving the house!!!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Moi! Of course, who wouldn't... it's still going to take a while but HEY! I got your attention, didn't I?
This is my last entry as a hospital virgin. There's nothing much to tell but whinge on and on about soon being a crutch operator. Sounds good as a job description, doesn't it?
Anyway, my mobile is allowed to be my guard and contact to the outside world while I'm lying sick in a hospital bed, so if you want to talk to me DO!!! Number: +49 176 20955370.
For Berliners I'll just put up the address as well, since you might happen to be somewhere as remote as Spandau: Havelklinik, Gatower Str. 191 in Spandau, very close to the Havel...
All the best, me luvly ladies and gentlemen! kisskisskiss i
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Go figure...
So, I have this perfectly athletic body (minimal degree of exaggeration here) and then this: after only twenty-seven something years it starts disintegrating like Germany’s economy...
Look at my right foot, for example: It’s a handsome, hard-working, talented symbiosis of bone and flesh, an indispensable member of the Inga society – but it seems to be unhappy, or at least parts of it, so that an insubordinate piece of my anklebone (little fucker! I called it Inga society BUT it’s not a bloody democracy! It’s a dictatorship, for heaven’s sake!!!) decided that it wants to go travelling. Maybe become a part of my elbow or hipbone. They might need some help there... What about my foot, though??? Has this little shit piece of anklebone forgotten that it serves a great purpose? The purpose being that without it Inga needs to invest time and energy into letting outsiders teach my bones subordination (how embarrassing!). But the worst is that it keeps me from going around in the world and passing on my skills and wisdom.
I’ve started noticing other insubordinate parts of my body. I’ll need to act quickly and make them learn the hard way, I think. Even if it means that I might have to use some pretty rough measures like whips and chains… Well, if I don’t write soon again this little illegal body part revolution will have succeeded… BUT I’ll come back and get them good! Promise!
Epilogue: I've got a new couch. VERY comfortable, VERY practical (it's one of those bed couches - or couch beds?), and extremely UGLY!!! If I get too comfortable on it I just have to look down and OOOPS! I'll be up on my feet (well, my one foot...) in no time! And if I WANT to get too comfortable then I'll just need to wear shades or something. Hmmmm.
Look at my right foot, for example: It’s a handsome, hard-working, talented symbiosis of bone and flesh, an indispensable member of the Inga society – but it seems to be unhappy, or at least parts of it, so that an insubordinate piece of my anklebone (little fucker! I called it Inga society BUT it’s not a bloody democracy! It’s a dictatorship, for heaven’s sake!!!) decided that it wants to go travelling. Maybe become a part of my elbow or hipbone. They might need some help there... What about my foot, though??? Has this little shit piece of anklebone forgotten that it serves a great purpose? The purpose being that without it Inga needs to invest time and energy into letting outsiders teach my bones subordination (how embarrassing!). But the worst is that it keeps me from going around in the world and passing on my skills and wisdom.
I’ve started noticing other insubordinate parts of my body. I’ll need to act quickly and make them learn the hard way, I think. Even if it means that I might have to use some pretty rough measures like whips and chains… Well, if I don’t write soon again this little illegal body part revolution will have succeeded… BUT I’ll come back and get them good! Promise!
Epilogue: I've got a new couch. VERY comfortable, VERY practical (it's one of those bed couches - or couch beds?), and extremely UGLY!!! If I get too comfortable on it I just have to look down and OOOPS! I'll be up on my feet (well, my one foot...) in no time! And if I WANT to get too comfortable then I'll just need to wear shades or something. Hmmmm.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Goode Dag
This language switch has no deeper meaning. I'm not even sure I spelled it correctly... Anyone proficient in Dutch???
Well, that was not the point of today's exercise, which - apropos exercise - will develop into some sort of an unachievable challenge soon because it is official now: me and my right foot are going to hospital beginning of March to have our first and hopefully only operation experience. This is not part of a docu soap but it should be, I think! What is more dramatic than a young woman and her SICK foot (fully sick, mate!) fighting against the odds, overcoming their fears and nightmarish visions of the future... whhoooowhhoooooowhhhooooooooooooohhhhhhh! Soooooo sad, 'n't...
Right... left.... I mean... sick. Well. that's life, hey! Let's be optimistic and welcoming of the hospital days to come, the odour of sickness and death, the heavyset nurses from hell, the boredom, the - whhoooooowhoooooowhhhooooooohhhhhhh - loneliness, the desperation, the PAIN!
Thinking about it - and I've also talked to my foot about it - we might reconsider the making of this gruesome experience... then again, if we don't face it now we might have to go in sometime later and then they might NOT be able to save us from... ourselves and... more PAIN!
Good, I think talking to yous helped. After all those arguments me and foot had in the previous week I'm quite delighted that we're still happy and together.
Life is good after all and love still sucks!
Well, that was not the point of today's exercise, which - apropos exercise - will develop into some sort of an unachievable challenge soon because it is official now: me and my right foot are going to hospital beginning of March to have our first and hopefully only operation experience. This is not part of a docu soap but it should be, I think! What is more dramatic than a young woman and her SICK foot (fully sick, mate!) fighting against the odds, overcoming their fears and nightmarish visions of the future... whhoooowhhoooooowhhhooooooooooooohhhhhhh! Soooooo sad, 'n't...
Right... left.... I mean... sick. Well. that's life, hey! Let's be optimistic and welcoming of the hospital days to come, the odour of sickness and death, the heavyset nurses from hell, the boredom, the - whhoooooowhoooooowhhhooooooohhhhhhh - loneliness, the desperation, the PAIN!
Thinking about it - and I've also talked to my foot about it - we might reconsider the making of this gruesome experience... then again, if we don't face it now we might have to go in sometime later and then they might NOT be able to save us from... ourselves and... more PAIN!
Good, I think talking to yous helped. After all those arguments me and foot had in the previous week I'm quite delighted that we're still happy and together.
Life is good after all and love still sucks!
Friday, February 03, 2006
5...4...3...2...1.......WHHOOOOAAAAAAAAA
This is a last-minute film postproduction note... Voice-overs for the New Years party scene are still being recorded and edited and I'm (or I should be) busy with last-minute organising of things like a screen for tomorrow's world premiere. The red carpet is also still missing and someone has to get some booze to get everyone down and dirty!!! The rest is up to the boyz who've been bloody working their arses off the last couple of weeks. I'm impressed! Not only by them but also with this very resourceful little postproduction studio, where 3 guyz would usually ruin everything but they actually live in a really nice, eventful, tidy (!!!) place. Well, the only downside: it's somewhere as remote as the Himalaya if you live south of the city centre. And now that I've had to sell the GigglySistersMobil (meaning the Berlin family car) it's a bummer to get to or back. Okay, so I'm a whinger but I just don't feel at home anywhere but in Xberg. It's mah hood, roight!
And just so you don't miss out on anything important or not sooo important in my life: I've become a celebrity family chef. My sister is finally pregnant and moving in with me in a couple of months (whose idea was that???). Monday and last night I didn't go to bed alone. Last night's adventure is going to evaluate my cooking skills next week. mmmhhh... scotspotting is out and oma's welt sucks coz nuzzing noo in ze zoo...
Apologies but I've only had three hours of sleep last night and I still feel a little drunk even though it's almost dinner time... what should that tell me??? I wonder...
And just so you don't miss out on anything important or not sooo important in my life: I've become a celebrity family chef. My sister is finally pregnant and moving in with me in a couple of months (whose idea was that???). Monday and last night I didn't go to bed alone. Last night's adventure is going to evaluate my cooking skills next week. mmmhhh... scotspotting is out and oma's welt sucks coz nuzzing noo in ze zoo...
Apologies but I've only had three hours of sleep last night and I still feel a little drunk even though it's almost dinner time... what should that tell me??? I wonder...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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