Good News!!!

I'm proud to be the first person to inform you about the latest events in this lovely Aussie town: THE DEED IS DONE! Errisch has made it. His thesis is finally on its long way homewards. Phoooh!

Now the bad news (there always are): I still got about three weeks to go. My deed is rather dead at the moment. Went out last night (weird!) till 4 a.m., overslept of course, and spent the whole day trying to recover and readjust my synapses so that I might be able to understand the text I was reading. All day. Still not finished. Shouldn't be that hard really but for some reason it is... So, now I'm sitting at the office (finally made it to uni at about 6.30 p.m.!), and what do I do? I stare at the piles of paper and books... and hop on the internet. YEY! I'm such a coward. Can't even bring myself to open up the document I've been working on yesterday. Might have to do with the fact that I basically deleted everything I had already written, so that I pretty much have to start over again. Bloody brilliant! I mean it was a load of bullocks and sandras but the words filled the screen. Deleting them is a very painful experience... OUCH!

Anyhoo, the sun will come up tomorrow again and maybe the little 'Heinzelmaennchen' will have done some overdue work on my thesis and then it'll all be good... Mhaw!

Posted by Ingale

22 hours, 12 minutes...

The countdown has started. Not for me, thank f..., but for my beloved Kollehsche Erigge. Tomorrow night he'll be as free as a bird and probably as drunk as a skunk (the German translation for this expression is a lot better: 'voll wie eine Haubitze'... YEY!). I, on the other hand, have just found out that my extension has been granted, which should make me infinitely happy but right now these two more weeks before D-Day feel like two more tons of weight on my chest. I want the additional time - but I don't...

Anyway, my parents have requested a picture of the place that I call my home at the moment (it's more of a camp, really - I'm hardly ever there except most nights). I have to get new batteries for my camera first (which I usually forget), so I thought... no, sorry, I can't be bothered describing it to you. Don't feel very eloquent right now. (but of course I am!)

"History repeats itself: first as a tragedy, second as a farce." Marx (who else?)
On this note I'll leave you once again and get back to tackling the last chapter of my grotesque mission. i

Shucks

...my new favourite word. Don't ask! It just happened to pop up in my head one day and now it's become an Inga-word. Maybe because it's onomatopoeic conveying some kind of attitude. Maybe it's just stupid. But at least it's mine. Well, I think it is. It could be anyone's though, right? It's all an illusion. What we think we got and what not. My sister always used to say to me and I've come to appreciate this recently: Close your eyes and what you see there is yours. It's a life-changing insight. Means that fear and jealousy and heartbreak and all that are all just constructs that crumble when we realise that we never really own anyhting or anyone, so holding on and letting go is not logical. In fact, it doesn't exist. It only exists when we create it.

So much for today's philosophy session. I would open up a forum discussion but no-one is reading this anyway, so - hang on - I'm talking to myself... Again. This might become a problem...

Everybody is a case performance...

... insiders will have noticed that I am clever and corrupt enough to use and abuse other people's original ideas, only slightly changing them, so nobody will be able to actually prosecute me.
Tough shit.
So, big deal... I'm an imposter.
At least that's how I feel like sitting here trying to come up and juggle around with academic ideas and weave them into a tightly knit fabric that can be utilised as a base for discussion in the future. On whose floor would it sit though? No idea. I'm just glad when this is over.
So, everybody is a case performance, a space perturbance, a ridiculous prodrudance, a serious impudence. This could go on until I have used all kinds of funny and sophisticated sounding words that the English language so readily provides for academic imposters like me. If nothing else, this thesis will be a well-worded grotesque expression of my insanity. That's something I reckon.

What does the general public think? Share your thoughts but be aware: "Those who take part in social laughter assure themselves of their own fallibility, finality, mortality - and thus of their own ridiculousness." (an insight by Karel Kosik on the crisis of modernity)

FlashMob

For my chapter on the grotesque male I looked up some information on the first fleet and how many men and women actually arrived in those first years of settlement. My argument was, well, is that Australian identity has been constructed around images of men and that this is a result of its colonising past. I was shocked to find out that the first women to arrive were collectively raped and then basically auctioned for marriage or sent to factories depending on their level of attractiveness and submissiveness (The ones nobody wanted were sent to the factories. They called them FlashMob - cool name for a band...). Shit man, this thesis is becoming more and more of a challenge. Not only is my sanity conditioned by grotesque subject matter and forms of representation, now I also have to deal with such depressing facts about the treatment of women in the past. not that I wasn't aware of that but it still makes me quite furious and hysterical (Freud would say I'm mad. I think he called this condition being a woman...)

Anywayyyyyyyyyy, I've actually been in a much better mood about everything. I even woke up laughing this morning. Maybe I am mad after all...
Don't you worry! I'm sure as soon as this... thing is out of the way I can actually start breathing (AND sleeping) again. YEY! So long

Note the FlashMob below! Scary, huh! Grotesque, for sure!


Posted by Ingale

Secret graffiti performance

Shush! Nobody must know! It's a secret after all... Well, I guess, not for much longer. Erigge is going to reveal his secret to the general and ignorant public tonight. I was witness to a first attempt at de-secreting his project last night but due to technical problems it had to be postponed. So, tonight's the night!!!
And now I shall tell you a secret or maybe more: I fell off my bike the other day. I was rude to a lamp post on Lygon St. I never buy tickets for the tram. I'm an alien on a mission to collect the most secret secrets from people like Erigge. My real name is Uschi and I got 13 toes. 13 is my lucky number too!
Enough of the secrets. I must depart now.

"Sorry that I could never love you back. I could never care enough these last days." Sun Kil Moon

Ten things...

I am grateful for . Today. Here in Melbourne. Let's see:
1. I can go down to the beach any time I want. Sit in silence (or not) and watch and listen to the waves breaking.
2. There's a lot of people around me who struggle with the same monstrous task of writing an M.A., or worse: a PhD...
3. Every day I'm learning more about myself. (Doesn't mean I exercise that knowledge... always takes me a while)
4. I feel intensely every day. Guess that means I'm alive. Also means I get distracted easily. Have to work on that.
5. My mom loves me.
6. I love my mom too!
7. There's always a tomorrow. And more coffee!
8. There are some people who will always be there.
9. Better than sleeping pills are arms to comfort you when you're head is buzzing and you can't see the end of the tunnel anymore.
10. I can still go for runs and actually enjoy it. I'm not such a lazy bum after all...

Gee, thinking positive is not that easy. Good exercise though.

"It's all about love" (The Book of Miracles)