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Chapter 2: applied kinesiology

ak is a kind of therapy where communication with the body is more important than words that come out of your mouth. the mind can confuse things and make them up and deny stuff but your body remembers everything and if you can read it properly you can find out the truth. that's at least how i understood the theory.

a friend of mine, a devoted fan of kinesiology, recommended this woman to me who's apparently as good as a witch when it comes to solving problems people have. i admit i have some. not the kind of american psycho ones but i got to this point just recently where i am not really desperate but would like to change something or find out what the real problem is in the first place to be able to tackle it.

i was given a session for my birthday from friends and also colleagues (they collected for me... cute, huh!) so off i went to marion freund and astonishingly enough it was a pretty good and relieving experience. with this woman talking to me and asking me stuff and listening to my body rather than my words i wound up crying at one point. i just got really sad about having lost my first little boyfriend in kindergarden when i was 4 because we had to move house to a different part of town. besides the time when i almost drowned as a three year old it's one of the only vivid memories i've got of my early childhood but i never attached any trauma to it. when in response to her question i brought it up she held my head in her hands and told me about how it might have affected me ever since, you know: fear of commitment, of not being loved, of not being heard and the anger and frustration as a result. i got so sad and i didn't know where it came from. extremely odd and also liberating in a way.

she wants me to consult her again in a month's time. i made an appointment and i'd really like to go. the only problem is that it's quite expensive. and although i'm pretty impressed with the session itself and the kind of treatment i don't want to have to get involved in this search for oneself. i'm not having a midlife crisis yet and i'm not in my late thirties fearing to cross the threshold to four zero.

anyhow, it was an amazing experience and if i have 70 euro to spare next month i'll go back and open myself up some more. the thing is that after the session there were so many open questions and also memories and feelings and i think i need to relate them to the ones i had during the session over the weekend. yes. that's it.