night.inga.le

Arcade Fire oder Talking Heads

2011-11-16T01:15:00.001+01:00

... das ist hier die Frage. Aber Cheyenne, ein gealterter Rockstar, weiß es besser als der kleine dicke Junge aus Huntsville in Tennessee. "This must be the place" ist eindeutig von den Talking Heads. David Byrne höchstpersönlich tritt im Film den Beweis an und kredenzt dem Zuschauer nicht nur eben diesen Song, sondern dazu eine grandiose Bühnenshow!

Eine von vielen schönen Szenen aus dem gleichnamigen Film "Cheyenne - This Must Be the Place", in der ein großartiger Sean Penn den völlig - und hier passt eigentlich nur die treffende englische Bezeichnung - drug fucked Cheyenne spielt, der irgendwo in der Vergangenheit stecken geblieben ist und sein Dasein als wandelndes Kuriositätenkabinett fristet. Alles an dieser Figur ist völlig überzogen und scheint trotzdem unglaublich echt: die mit Schminke übermalten Falten, der komplett unterbelichtet wirkende Blick, der ungelenke Gang wie auf Eiern, die piepsig getragene Stimme und die anstrengende Langsamkeit, mit der Cheyenne durchs Leben kriecht. Bereits zu Anfang des Films fragt man sich, wie lange Sean Penn für diesen Gesichtsausdruck aus einer Mischung von Traurigkeit, Naivität und einer großen Portion Verlebtheit vor dem Spiegel üben musste. Auf jeden Fall ist er überzeugend. Wie ein Außerirdischer lässt Penn seine Figur, stets mit einem Rollkoffer ausgerüstet, durch die Shopping Mall, den Flughafen und die amerikanische Provinz schleichen, anfänglich auf der Suche nach Ablenkung von seiner trostlosen Existenz als reicher aber gescheiterter Mann, was im Laufe des Films zu einer Art Mission für seinen verstorbenen Vater wird.

Die Geschichte wird mit langsamen und extrem konstruierten Bildern erzählt, ein Umstand, der Fans von Romantic Comedies nicht bekommen wird. Dafür belohnt er die Freunde des Autorenkinos mit tollen Filmbildern, unerwarteter Komik, die oft aus fast beiläufigen Details hervorspringt, und einem Soundtrack, der das Tempo des Films widerspiegelt und es trotzdem in sich hat.

Einzig und allein das Ende der Geschichte wirkt ein wenig gezwungen. Nicht nur, dass Cheyenne letztendlich doch noch mit Rauchen anfängt, um zu signalisieren, dass er eine bemerkenswerte Entwicklung, eine Art verspätetes Coming of Age, durchgemacht hat und nun erwachsen geworden ist. In der allerletzten Szene kommt er dann auch nach seinem Roadtrip durch die Pampa der USA zurück nach Hause in seine irische Wahlheimat, und zwar von nun an ungeschminkt, mit kurzen Haaren und "normalen" Klamotten. Willkommen in der Normalität scheint das heißen zu wollen. Schade.

Bildquelle

Bleibt nur noch zu erwähnen, dass Francis McDermond, die spätestens seit "Fargo" von den Coen Brüdern einen Platz in meiner Hall of Fame der besten Schauspielerinnen inne hat, die Frau spielt, die sich Abend für Abend neben dem kaputten Rockstar abschminkt und in ihrer Freizeit Feuerwehrfrau ist und die die Figur Cheyenne trotz dieser paradoxen Paarung ein wenig mehr in der Wirklichkeit verankert.

Prädikat: empfehlenswert!

Beat the ReEper

2011-11-08T12:11:00.001+01:00

while 'beat the reaper' by josh bazell is a fantastic read full of black humour, clever suspense and disgusting details of diseases that you rather forget really quickly, the reeperBAHN is not as much fun as many people seem to think. since i've made the transition from a sweet single berliner to a savoury and settled doubledecker hamburger two years ago, i've managed to avoid hanging out "on the kiez" as much as possible. especially on saturday nights. i quickly learned that saturday nights are vile there, crowded with drunk and disgusting youths as well as groups of males on the prowl or whatever guys do to prove their manhood to each other. the latter don't even have to look very far, since there are plenty of professionals around who must be up their noses with some kind of powerful drug to be able to sweet talk all kinds of men in various states of intoxication into letting them do stuff to them for ten or twenty euros. hopefully not more for more... eeek!

a very good friend of mine from oz who came to visit a while ago and of course had to see this famous spot of hamburg pointed out the phonetic proximity of reeper (pronounced in german rayper) and "rape her". i think we were sitting in the sbahn (metro train) back to our house, happy to get there without anyone vomiting on us, insulting us or picking a fight. i must admit i had never made this connection but i've never forgotten it either. it's the first thing that comes to my mind, whenever i read, hear or talk about the reeperbahn. not very pleasant when you think about it. and for some girls this connotation might actually be a bad omen.

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although, have you ever wondered why it's called REEPERbahn? no? well, i can tell you because i wanted to find out why. so reeper refers or rather used to refer to someone who makes ship rope. makes sense since hamburg has always been a major harbour and the reeperbahn used to be crowded with lots of sailors from all around the world. today it's not sailors anymore, however, but lots of tourists and youngsters who love the fact that apparently nothing is a taboo there. drinking till they're almost braindead, pissing against buildings even if it houses a public toilet, vomiting their previously gorged doner or burger onto non-existent garden patches, spilling beer or booze on whoever is unlucky enough to be close by, breaking noses and abusing bystanders, basically behaving as if obnoxious was a synonym for good manners. it's like carnival in cologne or oktoberfest in munich, only every single weekend. i really don't know what made me go there again the other day. it must have been some kind of temporary amnesia or some other mental dysfunction.

so, peeps, do me a favour and if you really must see the reeperbahn in action on a friday or saturday night, do so before maybe 10 p.m., have a walk up and down the so-called pleasure mile with its famous sex shops and clubs, have a look around the große freiheit and the beatles square and if you're a fan don't miss the beatles museum, maybe have a drink in one of the trendy bars if you manage to get some attention to place your order. BUT - and i implore you - if you don't want to witness or even get involved in some really pathetic and depressing display of human behaviour, get back on the metro train in good time and go to altona or walk to the schanzen quarter. it's a 10 minute spatial distance but a difference of about 1,000 years of evolution.

action auf irisch - the guard

2011-10-25T16:06:00.000+02:00

Darf ich vorstellen: ein beleibter, alternder Provinzbulle in ausgebeulten gräulichen Riesenbaby-Unterhosen. Der erste Eindruck von Gerry Boyle (ein fantastischer Brendan Gleeson!) überzeugt zumindest in der Form, als dass das Klischee eines dümmlichen, nur noch auf die Pension hinarbeitenden Aktenvernichters vom Lande sehr gut zusammen zu passen scheint mit seinem derben Humor und den offenbar mit lauter dummen Vorurteilen bespickten, rassistischen Sprüchen. Dass dieser Eindruck jedoch lediglich an der Oberfläche kratzt, ist spätestens dann klar, als Boyle, abgeklärt und fast gelangweilt, die Leiche eines erschossenen Gangsters untersucht und es sich dabei nicht verkneifen kann, seinen neuen Kollegen aus der Großstadt mit einem würzigen Griff in den Schritt des Toten zu schockieren. Die gekonnt aufgebaute Antipathie des Zuschauers verwandelt sich im Laufe der ersten 10 Minuten allmählich und nahezu ungewollt in eine Art angewiderte Faszination.

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Die Bühne betritt sein vermeintlicher Gegenspieler: Everett (Don Cheadle) - ein junger, durchtrainierter und vor allem farbiger FBI-Agent mit internationalem Renomee, der Boyle anfangs ebenso angewidert und abschätzig begegnet wie das Kinopublikum. Erst nachdem Boyle sich trotz seiner fülligen Körpermasse als zäher Frühsportler outet, fängt Everett an, sich mit dem plump wirkenden Iren näher zu beschäftigen und seine eigenen Vorurteile gegenüber dem Klischee-Landei zu revidieren.

Der Konflikt des Films entsteht dann auch nicht durch den offensichtlichen kulturellen und ethnischen Unterschied der beiden Protagonisten, sondern wird erzeugt durch eine Drogen schmuggelnde Bande, die selbst vor Polizistenmord nicht zurückschreckt, und korrupte Machenschaften auf Seiten der vermeintlichen Gesetzeshüter. Und so wird Boyle in seinem ganzen ordinären, zuweilen gar abstoßenden Glanz zum moralischen Antihelden, der mithilfe des lange ahnungslosen FBI-Agenten, Gangster und Korruption im Alleingang zu Fall zu bringen versucht.

Lange habe ich nicht mehr so viel Spaß gehabt im Kino. Die Bilder und die Geschichte sind unerwartet gelungen und brechen nicht nur mit Klischees sondern auch mit Konventionen. Dabei wirkt der Film nicht überladen mit kreativen Ideen und originellen Kniffen. Im Gegenteil, leise und unaufdringlich wird die Geschichte erzählt. Es sind die kleinen Szenen zwischendurch, die so prall gefüllt sind mit Komik, dass es eine wahre Freude ist. Ich sag nur Schoko-Milchshake.

Für geübte Versteher des irischen Dialekts, sei die Originalfassung empfohlen. Für alle anderen ist die deutsche Fassung trotz allem auch ganz gut gelungen. Ich komm übrigens gern nochmal mit!

apple, jobs and the hereafter

2011-10-06T12:25:00.002+02:00

even on his death bed, steve jobs managed to protect his life's great success story apple from harm. only yesterday did millions of people complain about their disappointment of the new iphone and that it's not again as revolutionary as all the other devices apple has released in the past few years. i wonder what they thought was coming... a sci-fi piece of art with a fluid 3d display, variable in size and appearance, so that your boss might think you're eating a banana instead of chatting to your best friend, and of course embellished with all the luxuries of a futuristic personal allround living and working assistant. not that apple will not be able to invent something like that soon. maybe not right this minute though. the 21st century only just started, folks!

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now that steve jobs, the great visionary of user friendly and cutting-edge computer technology, has died, people have suddenly stopped complaining. instead, they mourn and honour him and all his accomplishments. and so they should! when jobs took over the reign of the ailing apple company, he basically started changing the world. the imac and the powerbook, at the time highly advanced if vastly expensive but definitely worthy pieces of computer technology, made working with a computer an unexpectedly pleasurable experience. over were the days of break downs and losing the last 4 hours of work, over the days of searching for an electronic hiccup in the depths of a hardly comprehensible system, over the days of computer viruses and mundane design. those were his first major successes, paving the way for his renowned ipod, iphone and last but not least his ipad. all of these inventions outsmarted apple's competitors by years, decades even. they're only catching up now because the apple matrix is there for everyone to look at, retrieve the original ideas and start creating similar stuff.
modern civilisation owes steve jobs big time. he might have contributed to an ever more demanding, globalized society that forces people to forget their humanity and become more and more dependent on technology. BUT at the same time, by creating technological devices that are intuitive and easy to use he translated the complex language of computing into a user-friendly and even fun way of working with computers. almost a modern martin luther of the secular world.
thanx, steve! RIP.
ps: i'm writing this on a macbook pro, which took over my old powerbook's job last year. after 5 years! which other laptop would have been able to cope with 5 years of progress in hardware, software and on the web. and it's still doing its work as a retiree on my sister's teacher desk. yes, i love apple, too!

neighbours

2011-09-16T15:23:00.003+02:00

Bildquelle

gestern mal wieder bei einer vernissage gewesen und just ein erstes mal erlebt: ivo und ich haben auf einen der vielen rumstehenden nachbarn einen roten punkt kleben lassen. mit rahmen und integrierter spende an die arche in jenfeld.
einen platz haben wir auch schon: sozusagen an einem verkehrsknotenpunkt unserer wohnung, wo momentan noch etwas rustikalere deko hängt, die jedoch (zum glück) nicht mehr perfekt ist, da eine Ecke fehlt. (ich bin unschuldig!) der ideale platz also für die engelsflügeliche nachbarschaftlichkeit mit vogel.
und wer wissen will, wie das aussieht, muss uns nur besuchen kommen!
na dann, bis bald!

4 in 1 or what is egg salad made of?

2011-07-18T18:51:00.003+02:00

thursday, friday, saturday, sunday make a monday. stirred, not shaken, to avoid confusing the hell out of each day, which went as follows:

thursday: updating, filing, organising stuff, writing emails, counting, making sure. not like. BUT lunch with bud the weiser, frow z und soothie saved my day. thanx 4 that!

friday: making a family tree, last minute of course, branch by branch, twig by twig, leaf by leaf. packing too much stuff and going on a five-hour road trip to my home town. eventually laughing and drinking with the other early arrivalists of the family.

saturday: celebrating my parents' ruby wedding anniversary. 40 years! unbelievable but true. presenting the family tree. joint reminiscing during several activities including conquest of the Dresden town hall tower with a fantastic view of the city, dinner and drinks at a very classy and supposedly "the best" restaurant in town called "Luisenhof", a never-ending and giggly tram ride back and many more classy drinks. somehow making it to bed.

Bildquelle: flickr.com, Offbeat Photography

sunday: hugs and goodbyes to the early departurists, repeatedly expressing the wish to meet more often with the extended family, picking up the pregnantest of pregnant women and taking her to the saxon switzerland with us, kicking ball with 2, 4 and 6 year olds, searching the ball in jungle like shrub, making conversation, sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes uncalled for, kissing pregnant woman and almost there baby in the belly goodbye, making and eating egg salad (made of curious oval thingies that look like this <-), watching a rather suspenseful championship final, drinking more alcohol and being amused by my father and his brother teasing each other. well, my father teasing and my uncle becoming more and more grumpy. what a sight!

and finally monday: going on another 5 hour road trip to meck pomm, making plans, making lists accordingly, re-entering the virtual world of email, fb and blogging. happy egg... uhm... end.

wednesday

2011-07-13T14:25:00.002+02:00

as part of the 1pptw (Jo's one post per day-week) i've decided to elaborate on the midweek day (in german the day is indeed called midweek - mittwoch).

for over a year now, my wednesdays have been defined by one repeating occurence: swim class. okay, i admit i haven't been to each and every one of them BUT i'm trying and usually i also go to the pool quite a bit by myself. not because i have to but because i WANT to. strange, huh. well, at least to me. not that i don't usually like exercise. for a long time it was an important part of my life. but as soon as you stop working out regurlarly, it becomes a bit of a drag and you have to battle with your very own swine dog (not a very attractive but literal translation of the german word schweinehund, which describes your procrastinating, weak and lazy self).

Bildquelle: flickr.com, Michael Lokner

i remember my attempts at finally starting to work out again, swimming being the only kind of sports that i can do without ruining any more of my bones. gosh, sometimes i hardly managed to swim a couple of lanes without taking a break in between, let alone enjoy it. then, however, i joined a gym (i know...) with a pool and started going to swim class. WOW. what a difference. i quickly learned to swim the crawl properly and by some mysterious miracle i stopped panicking when my head was underwater for a beat too long (i realise that i use the brackets quite a bit but one more time: long story).

so now, i have zen moments while i swim, i can control my breathing so well that i can swim up to ten strokes without needing to breath AND the most important: it is so much FUN! to feel your body, to notice the change in speed and ease, to master the technique. i love it. which in turn means i love wednesdays. yes!

make-up or number two of 1pptw

2011-07-12T13:33:00.002+02:00

funny stuff, make-up. funny people, too, who make it up. funnier even the people who make it the center of their lives.

i have no idea whatsoever what made me write those words more than a year ago. either i was shocked at seeing someone with a major make-up disorder OR for some reason i started thinking about these two individual words that joint together make up (!) an entirely new word or term.

since i haven't seen anyone lately who looked crazy enough to shock me, i'd like to stick with a philosophical approach to talking about make-up, something i obviously should have done a long time ago. so, what exactly is one making up when using make-up? it's quite obvious to claim that especially women need it to make up another identity for themselves, one without flaws, a painted image of oneself that does not look tired, vulnerable or too ordinary. it seems to become something of an armour or a mask that women often feel they need in an increasingly reckless world, which eats you alive when you admit to having flaws and weaknesses, ordinariness being the worst of them all.

i must say, i agree. when i think back to my grand stand-up performance of a tv presenter who supposedly knows what she's doing, i remember feeling glad that several layers of make-up and whatnot separated me from the image flickering across the screens of the audience. for one thing, it made me look quite different, nothing compared to my normal self, so much that i was sure people would not recognise me if they saw me without make-up. this in turn made it easier to do what i did without feeling too self-conscious, although it never prevented me from being extremely nervous. nevertheless, it did help. whatever i did, i would not have to claim responsibility, at least not in terms of my appearance. a relief that was worth sacrifising an hour of my life to being made up and teased with all kinds of cosmetic gadgets.

having said that, it seems logical to say that the more make-up you use, the more insecure you are. is that so? i kind of like this idea because at least in my everyday life i only ever use mascara. this would mean i'm pretty self-confident, which i guess is mostly true. i also kind of dislike the idea because it would mean that a LOT of women are pretty insecure, especially girls. what about you, ladies? and what do men do to cover up their insecurities? byuing sports cars?

my favouritest shoes

2010-09-03T14:45:00.003+02:00

there they are:

aren't these the best looking shoes ever? elegant, sporty and comfy at the same time. geez, i love you, Ecco Catch Slippers!

i found them by chance a couple of years ago in a small store in downtown Warnemünde (yepp, i was in tourist mode). seagulls all over the place, attacking people with yucky baked fish in their hands, trying to actually eat it. okay, i admit it, i was one of them but after one bite i gladly left it for the hungry birds to finish. an experience i don't have to make again.

so, there i was, a shopping grump, forced by my girlfriend to enter each and every shop along the whole bloody tourist strip. i was not happy, jen! so, after a bit of moping and standing around and staring, i decided i should at least use some of this wasted time and look around for a new pair of shoes. i needed one anyway. and you never know, you might actually find the perfect fit with the perfect look in a spot as desolate as Warnemünde.

I DID! and the best thing: it was ON SALE! i should have known then that this was my last chance to hoard as many of these shoes as possible but my account at the time was in a constant state of malnourishment. even this one pair almost meant bread and water for the rest of the month... i know, drama. that's the fabric of life... big sigh.

anyhow, i never regretted having spent my last penny on them. they were a part of me and my feet for the longest time. they still are BUT i forgot them in berlin the other day. next visit in four weeks. what a desaster! all of a sudden, i was shoeless. well, not exactly but i suddenly realised that these shoes were the only ones comfortable and still good-looking enough to go to work with and meet new clients... in the end, i had to dig out old shoes and wear them. result: sore feet and a feeling of self-consciousness.

hmmm, so far, so good. what do you do in this kind of situation? yes, you get on the net and order a new pair online. was about time anyway... so i did, only to find out that there is NOT ONE pair left in my size on the whole bloody planet! BUGGERINSKI! i was ready to actually spend a good bit of money just to have the same pair of shoes one or two or three more times!!!

so what now? i did the next best thing: i wrote a letter to the manufacturer begging them to reintegrate my all-time favouritest shoe in the new collection... yes, that's how desperate i was... i am...

two days later i ordered a pair of the current collection. not on sale. not the same. i'm devastated.

but wait! maybe that's my calling: make my own shoes! become a shoemaker!

call me MICHAEL! and buy me a helmet! HA!

kunst

2010-08-02T17:25:00.003+02:00

halb 7 aufgestanden. arbeit. igitt. besonders die, die man nicht gern macht, wie transkribieren und buchhalten. lieber transpirieren, bauchhalten und geld verdienen! deswegen: wenn ich irgendwann mal reich und schön bin, dann lass ich andere für mich arbeiten und gehe so gegen halb 11 erstmal in den pool meine bahnen ziehen, um mich nach einem ausgiebigen frühstück in meinem madonna-nackt-kostüm mit der geilen marieke auf der straße zu prügeln. am besten auf dem potsdamer platz. je mehr bewunderer desto besser. alles für die kunst natürlich. das nennt man dann nämlich installation und das video dazu wird in der neuen nationalgalerie ausgestellt mitsamt dem kostüm und den unweigerlich eingebrannten schweißflecken. geil. so machen wir das, mariekschen. oder?

sonne draußen, icke drinnen

2010-03-23T12:05:00.002+01:00

was ich tue: so tun als ob ich arbeite, mir das hirn zermartern über intelligent klingende bewerbungen, beschämt meine unpolitische natur beäugen, krampfhaft versuchen kreativ zu sein.

was ich gern tun würde: lesen in der sonne, einen intelligenten und erfüllenden job haben, meinen muskelkater loswerden, wat leckeres zum mittag essen.

was andere für mich tun können: meiner intelligenz schmeicheln und glaubhaft versichern, dass die zukunft rosig aussieht, wat leckeres zum mittag für mich kochen!

alltagsweisheit

2009-12-28T15:27:00.003+01:00

neulich in dresden: "vorsicht ist die mutter in der porzellankiste."

fragen: meissner porzellan?

warum ist die mutter in der kiste?

eingesperrt von vati oder stieftochter oder gar vom eigenen muttersöhnchen?

da soll man dann draus schlau werden...

Kulturtipp "Isch bin ein Börliner"

2009-12-14T14:37:00.004+01:00

Hamburg: 10 Tage vor dem diesjährigen Jubiläum des gemeinnützigen Vereins "MEDIENJOBS für ALLE", kurz MfA, bekräftigt die ehrenamtliche Vorstandssprecherin Inga von K. mit jenem geschichtsträchtigen Zitat ihre Verbundenheit mit der deutschen Hauptstadt, nachdem der Verein erst kürzlich den Stammsitz nach Hamburg verlegen musste. "Uns blieb aus wirtschaftlichen Gründen leider keine andere Wahl", erklärt Frau von K. und verweist dabei auf die schon oft zitierte und noch immer instabile Weltwirtschaftslage.

Dies mindere jedoch nicht die Vorfreude auf das nächste Geschäftsjahr, von dem der Verein eine Entspannung auf dem Arbeitsmarkt, speziell im Bereich der Medien, erwartet. "Wir sind sehr zuversichtlich, dass wir unsere Ziele und Wünsche im kommenden Jahr werden umsetzen können" sagt Frau von K. und wirkt dabei so entschlossen wie der ehemalige US-Präsident, aus dessen Mund die berühmten Worte "Isch bin ein Börliner" stammen. Kämpferisch wie ein inkarnierter Kennedy fügt sie hinzu, "Wir werden uns weiterhin für eine Ausrottung des zunehmend unverschämten Praktikantenhandels einsetzen, sowie für intelligente und bildungsfördernde Inhalte in den Massenmedien, angemessene Bezahlung aller Medienschaffenden und ernsthaften Klimaschutz. Dies alles sind Themen, die die Welt beschäftigen oder zumindest beschäftigen sollten, denn nur so wird man der globalen Verarmung, Verblödung und Klimaerwärmung Einhalt gebieten können."

Diejenigen Leser, die sich mit Frau von K. über diese und weitere Themen austauschen oder auch einfach nur in das nunmehr 31. Jubiläum mit ihr reinfeiern möchten, können sich freuen, dass die Jubiläumsfeier noch "im alten Kiez" stattfindet, und mögen sich bitte einfinden:

WO? Marianne, Mariannestr., Kreuzberg
WANN? 23.12.09, ab 21 Uhr
WIE? pazifistisch und umweltfreundlich sowie ausgestattet mit etwas Trinkgeld (hü) und am besten OHNE Geschenke!!!

Allen anderen wünscht die Kulturtipp-Redaktion sowie der Verein "MEDIENJOBS für ALLE" frohe und besinnliche Weihnachten sowie ebenso viel Optimismus und Kampfgeist fürs kommende Jahr!

ATTACKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

die wahren worte des tages

2009-12-01T11:55:00.003+01:00

"Ein Anzug, der nichts kostet, taucht nicht. Es ist kein Taucheranzug!" Evje van Dampen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq7gWEV7Y7c

moogle gaps

2009-05-26T23:13:00.002+02:00

wetnork
mahoo yail
bacefook
ginx
ybae
globber
nave sow
cublip
sad ense
ltmh

don't worry, this wasn't supposed to make sense. just playing;) REALLY!!!

vampires and werewolves

2009-04-05T01:18:00.002+02:00

there's at least one thing to look forward to when you come home on a saturday night slash sunday morning and all you want is snuggle up in bed and read till you can't keep your eyes open...: number four of the twilight series, which after new moon and eclipse is called breaking dawn. yep. is it a good thing that my pregnant sister (due in a few days!!!) was actually sobbing when she finished reading it??? hmmm. must've been the hormones, huh!
well, i have to admit that i finally and quite unvoluntarily got sucked into the whole vampire meets weird teenage girl meets werewolf story. apart from a few little literary drawbacks (like utter indulgence in emotional misery, which tends to draw on any patient reader's commitment, and the occasional very obvious educational morale - apparently the author is a mormone and NOT into sex before marriage!? go figure!) i've quite enjoyed the ride so far.
so i guess i should get into bed and see if hormones make a difference after all, huh! or if i'm just as predictable as anyone else... will keep youse updated;)

rain and sunny patches

2009-03-14T14:12:00.003+01:00

so. that's it. that's what a financial crisis feels like. do you know what it feels like? it feels like i'm not gonna have a job in a couple of weeks time. found out two weeks ago. first shock, then almost joy for all the new possibilities that suddenly come up, then anger because i've calculated how much (or little) money i'll get on the dole, then hope because i just found the perfect job and applied for it but the ad was already two weeks old, then disappointment because the galaxy decided this job is not for me... and then happiness about spending too much money on going out and booking a diving holiday in egypt.
financial crisis? whatever!

poetic but just misunderstood

2009-01-13T10:01:00.003+01:00

it's tuesday morning. you've just received an email from the faculty of humanities of an australian uni, expressing interest in publishing the paper you submitted about 2 and a half years ago about grotesquery and australian cinema. memories of painful thesis writing flood your brain along with a sizable splash of pride that someone far away is still thinking about you and something you created a long time ago (or so it seems). then you have a little peek at ebay if the auction on the macbook pro that you sooooooo want has already exceeded your non-existent budget. it has(n't) but it's still 22 hours to go. you keep thinking how wonderful life would be if you just had this new computer... and then you read this: my life and i split up 6 months ago. you think wow! someone must have been really depressed or just has a fantastic sense of humour and the poetic! turns out that life was actually wife...

oh well, tuesday mornings. we love them!

help!

2009-01-12T14:50:00.003+01:00

i'm sick. i've got the apple fever. again. all i wanted was to upgrade my beloved powerbook so i could install avid, some programme i want to show off with. of course hehehe.

anyway, after some research i discovered that i need to install the current operating system (leopard) because avid only runs with that. so then i looked at software to purchase but i didn't only look at the software. my eyes kept drifting off to forbidden shores, my fingers manouvering the cursor to fateful subsites... and now i'm right in the middle of a dilemma: i fell in love with the macbook pro. i can't afford it but i want it. real bad!!! it's strong and fast and sexy and i hate to say it but it's much better than my old one which has served it's purpose but cannot keep up anymore.

let's call my powerbook deirdre and the macbook pro would be candy. deirdre is wearing glasses and brown cardigans and always has a book with her at all times. she's highly intelligent but timid and repressed, a creative genius with an aged attitude. candy on the other hand is just real bouncy and takes the whole world by storm. she knows everything better, likes to intimidate others and sticks out like a sore thumb. her nickname is "eye candy"...

okayokayokay, i am sick, aren't i??? HELP!!!

this morning

2008-11-21T13:20:00.003+01:00

the first snow in berlin. while i was sitting on the train through the city and looking out the window i watched berlin turn from rain soaked to snow flaked.

have you ever noticed that snow bounces off your pants while you briskly walk to your final destination? (whoooooeeey, i just got an idea...) when i arrived at work i was freezing but most of my clothes were dry. most importantly my pants. nothing worse than sitting at your desk in underwear with your clothes drying on the heater. been there, done that...

unwort des tages

2008-11-18T13:10:00.002+01:00

haftnotizwürfel. weil det so sexy jefääääääährlisch klingt! wie 12 jahre ohne bewährung im offenen vollzug mit herbert, dem pazifistischen axtmörder, klaus, dem massigen kleinganoven, und boris, dem russischen mafioso.

the book of faces

2008-11-07T20:09:00.001+01:00

i like the idea of a book made of faces. it would contain all kinds of faces: chubby, skinny, long, bony, round, black, white. but would it be a book with pictures of faces or is that not too easy? too boring?

wouldn't it have to be a book that gives the whole world just one face? in my imagination it would be a book that was made up of pieces of all kinds of faces from all over the world from as many people as possible. in the end the book of faces would look like a face itself. it would tell the story of all the faces it's made up of but one wouldn't have to read a word. it would show itself in this one image: the book of faces. the world's face.

if i was a photographer or an artist in general that would be my next project: collect pictures (or plaster casts???) of faces and then create one face. what would it look like? would it be anyone i might know? would it be ugly or not facelike at all?

well, if i was a normal person i would just get online on facebook.com and chat with my friends and upload pictures and all that stuff. i would never think about the meaning of that word they created. did they think about it when they first came up with it? they must have. i wonder what they imagine what a book of faces would look like...

hmmmm. or maybe they meant the faces of books? omigod, a whole new dimension of thoughts is opening up... noooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

dinner time

2008-10-13T21:33:00.002+02:00

i made pasta with a vegie tomatoe sauce tonight. i do that sometimes, actually i make variations of the same dish quite frequently. gotta feed the troops somehow, hey! anyway, one thing is definitely consistent: i always have to put my clothes in the laundry straight away. why? because it's usually full of red tomatoe sauce hehehe. can you believe it?

so next time i should probably either get undressed before making dinner or be practical and wear an apron... do any of you guys actually own one? god, get a life! i'd rather flash my cheeks!!! YEY!

so what am i gonna make for dinner tomorrow???

notorious

2008-08-20T00:36:00.002+02:00

my mirror.

my mirror and i have a fascinating relationship. every morning and every night it tells me who i am, even if i think i might be someone else.

as a child i always used to get confused when i looked at myself in the mirror. somehow i felt different from the person i would see in front of me. i would make faces and look at myself from all the different angles (the advantages of a folding mirror!) to find out what other people were seeing. it took me a long time to come to terms with that distinction between myself as i see it and myself other people see. i guess you get used to it...

now my mirror tells me - AGAIN! - that i have a notoriously red nose. yes it's burned because it's summer. but that's not it. i ALWAYS have a red nose. at high school my favourite teacher would always pull jokes (because of course i'm a notorious late-comer...), so that when i would enter the class room late as i was and with a red nose she would say: inga, must have been late last night, huh? too much to drink? ho ho ho. i would never really get embarrassed because she was allowed. i liked her. anyway, my point is: i always have a red nose.

my mirror also tells me i have notoriously unruly hair. it's curly and it's growing out. once when i was young it was pretty long but i'm over that. so now it's shoulder length and i'm thinking about letting it cut again. everybody tells me though i should let it grow. i mean, it's bloody inconvenient. even if everybody thinks it's so lovely and all... i don't know. i guess i have to think about it. like everyone else in this world i do care about what other people think. bloody inconvenient that is!

i could go on and on about mirrors and self-image and metaphorical implications but i'll spare you. it's late.

conclusion: mirrors are notoriously devious. they never tell you what you want to hear. or see. only sometimes. rarely. still, one can't do without, can one?

on that note, good night, sleep tight. and mirrorless dreams!

ps: i think notorious is a great word!

a question for my male readers

2008-08-14T15:59:00.004+02:00

it is summer. many germans might dispute this fact, solely because a lot of the time it's either too cold or too hot, it's too dry or too rainy, and if none of these things apply it's too windy. there are many reasons why summer is never good enough. germans seem to have this pessimistic gene that never allows them to actually enjoy whatever is going on. there is always a reason to complain, huh! maybe it's not just german but then it is definitely very european, don't you agree?

anyway, back to the reason why i'm posting this today: summer is one thing, fashion another. male fashion in particular can be very disturbing, so here it is:

WHY do (some? many? most?) men wear shorts (because it is summer) and then pull their socks so high around their calves that there is almost no space for their skin to breathe let alone tan??? i mean not that i fancy looking at a lot of hairy and pale male legs but what is the problem with you guys? give your calves some space! especially in summer! are you afraid it might rain any minute so you're prepared for the cold?

well, maybe it's just pragmatic. isn't that what they say about both men and germans?

do what you have to do but PLEASE don't take the same morning train as me!!!

i wish!

2008-06-23T14:59:00.002+02:00

... i had a pillow. with me. at ALL times!!!

my next day off is friday. i just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! stay in bed the whole day, read, doze off, cuddle my pillow, read some more, maybe go for a walk, get or make something to eat, go back to bed or lie on the couch, read, doze off, cuddle my pillow etc.

i extremely dislike (previous phrase has been censored by myself) my alarm clock!!! that's the only downside with working weekends. it's gotten to the point that i wake up BEFORE my alarm clock!! can you believe it??? it's like the knowledge that i have to get up early is so stressful for me that i can't relax at all. instead i just wake up before my alarm clock has a chance to, just to stare at the time in disbelief, turn around and the moment i'm about to fall asleep again, the bloody thing pierces right through my dream world... (devoted readers might already know of my troubled relationship with mornings and alarm clocks).

WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHoooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! right, i'm a whinger. yes. i know!

besides my being tired i am very excited about tonight! marieke's play SPIELTRIEB premieres tonight and i'll be witness to it! i hope she's still in one piece after several months of basically working two jobs. YOU ROCK, girl!!!

funny berlin

2008-06-05T16:41:00.002+02:00

almost

2008-05-03T12:49:00.002+02:00

most of the time i feel almost. almost happy, almost heartbroken, almost relieved, almost awake, almost in the mood for exercise, almost busy... in bed, in grass, in cars, in front of computers sitting on desks, listening to music vacuuming or writing...

what is left of most of the time are instances of joy, fear, hatred, love, desire, wholeness. little avalanches that flood my brain and tickle my toes.

AND THEN all of a sudden you hit your shin, you spill hot coffee on your lap, you get moved around like a soccer trophy, someone you love is too tired to talk, you get caught speeding (AGAIN!), the sun stops shining and you're sitting in your new office on a weekend while no-one's there except your most annyoing colleague.

it's may and horses snicker. yey!

turkish delights

2008-02-29T16:16:00.006+01:00

1. rising early - despite the fact that it was supposed to be a holiday, we frequently got a wake-up call at six in the morning. it didn't matter that no-one had ever asked for any such thing...

2. smiling not recommended - politeness gives a lot of space for interpretation... too much space. especially for the male turk.

3. ancient greek history - apparently non-existent in the area of today's turkey. and if you wanna know why there are so many greek inscriptions on the ancient sites, the answer is very simple: greek writing was so popular back then that the romans used it too. latin was a dead language even in those times, hey!

4. please wear your blinkers - if you look around too much you might notice all the garbage on the side of the road... we love plastic bottles!!!

5. no bending over in jeans - if you do that you might find yourself asked by 3 fifty something male pigs if you could please solve the riddle: are you wearing underwear???

6. not in times of crisis - going on a package tour is a game of russian roulette in itself. relationship troubles diminish your chances of winning the game. severely!

7. home sweet home - there's no place like home, that's for sure!

BUT if you ignore points 1 to 7 one could say that it was a brilliant holiday...

doris day in da house

2008-02-18T17:22:00.003+01:00

shey seraaaaaaaah, seraaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wotevaaaa willl beeeeeeeee will beeeeeeeee...

laughing hard, aerobics at work.

no one will probably get this but i'm in tears at the momenttttttttttt

i wish we would broadcast office.tv instead of pet.tv sometimes. it would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better and funnier. believe me!

the swine in you

2008-02-15T17:07:00.002+01:00

ragged shadow on greyish concrete
moving up up up
towards the sun
towards the sky
not knowing why

immature love on purple skin
going fast fast fast
fading away
growing insane
not knowing why

winter night falling over woollen hats
freezing cold cold cold
drawing your breath
embracing the dark
not knowing why

cloudless mornings in picture frame windows
dozing off off off
cuddling up
dreaming happiness
not knowing why

laboured exercise after a long day at work
asking why why why
fighting yourself
killing the swine
knowing it's done

a bit wanky but my contribution to the challenge. going home, ciao belli

scharf und schärfer

2008-02-12T11:43:00.000+01:00

scharfsinn ist mein stichwort, rieke,
geschliffen wird die klinge noch,
mit ruhe und geduld'ger liebe
anstatt dem aufruhr unterjocht.

aufruhr jedoch s'der welten lohn,
wenn ich mit ungeschärfter klinge
den alten dschungel der emotion
versuche zu durchdringen.

geschärft ist's nun,
die zeit heilt alle wunden.
was scharfe Worte tun,
mag schärfere klinge zu bekunden.

wohlauf, ihr süßen nulpen,
mag kommen doch was wolle.
beschenken lasst euch mit tulpen,
so oder so ick find eusch dolle.

yep. so ist dat.

blum, ein wolf mit vornahm "butter",

2008-02-06T17:34:00.000+01:00

lachte keck und sagte nur:
komm doch mit auf meinen kutter
dort lehr ich DIR das abitur.

posenrose ganz verlegen
schlug mit ihren äuglein auf.
butter, lecker, buttersegen,
und das schicksal nahm sein' lauf.

so, sis is mei kontribjuschn. heppi end, wie imma. yey!

und wer dit hier nisch verschdeht, der möge hier mal drauf klicken!

2008-01-28T15:25:00.000+01:00

behold thy wicked charms
these are my final qualms

the turn of six it is
i've got to go and p..s

upon return a rose
was stuck up in my nose

i saw this face reflected
that was a bit neglected

in shock and utter horror
i screamed: 't is an error!

though church bells chimed in terror
the sixth chime wasn't an error

proclaiming: 't is the end
and thus i left to repent.

yep, this is me being poetic at the end of the day... say no more!

go gertrude go gertrude go gertrude go

2008-01-27T16:47:00.000+01:00

Rose sieht einen "schönen Baum und sie dacht ja er ist rund aber rundherum werde ich Rose ist eine Rose ist eine Rose reinritzen und dann ist’s einfach da und ich höre nirgends mehr irgendwas das mir in der Nacht Angst macht."

G.S. persönlich: “Also hören Sie! Ich bin doch kein Narr. Ich weiß, dass man im täglichen Leben nicht sagt, 'is a ... is a ... is a ...'. Aber ich denke, dass in dieser Zeile die Rose zum ersten Mal seit hundert Jahren in der Dichtung rot ist.“

„Kann Rose eine Rose sein wenn ihre Lieblingsfarbe Blau ist?“

in "The World Is Round"

the death of a rose

2008-01-25T16:51:00.000+01:00

beheaded and sad it thus sat on the sill,
awaiting new buds to sprout now but still

the fading light would hide its open wounds,
yonder sunrise whistling promising tunes.

though no light and no tune may resurrect her.
she may never again feel a moment of spur.

the rose is dead, her body withering with age
one can only leave her and not feel its rage.

mann, ey. mistharken.tv

ich muss jetzt mal gehen und meiner gebärmuddi ne rose kaufen.

rehearsal

2008-01-25T15:23:00.000+01:00

auf meinem fensterbrette
stand mal ein rosenbette
mit leuchtend blüten fette
doch niemand konnt sie rette

denn heimlich kam die rieke
in ihren klamotten schnieke
versteckt im rock ne pieke

ich brauch nen kaffee. kommste miete?

geköpfte rosen

2008-01-25T14:32:00.000+01:00

wie unpoetisch...

TAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

2008-01-25T11:16:00.002+01:00

506,29 Euros later:

and that's what it looks like inside...

Danke Volker!!!

LEUUUUUUUUDE!!!

2008-01-18T17:30:00.001+01:00

this is my new mutterbrett:

the story goes as follows: being frustrated and all about my lot as an apple widow yesterday i surfed the net and found a fitting motherboard online. they wanted $429 for it, around €300. thennnnnnnnn i talked myself out of it. it worked until this afternoon when i had to think of my baby sitting in a cupboard in my room awaiting a better life in the apple afterworld. so i sent a message to this freelance apple emergency guy, who not only told me the motherboard was a good deal but also made me a good offer on the repair. i got really excited. understandably, don't you think!

anyway, off i went to chew everyone's ear off who wasn't up in a tree by three. then i called my parents, who weren't there, so i called my sister and got the financing under way.

but the best thing is still coming: i got back online and because you could negotiate the price i sent an offer. what do think i offered? instead of $429 plus $36 shipping costs??? i offered them $400... HEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHIHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA plus shipping costs... HEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHIHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA again!

so much for my bargaining talent. well, of course they accepted the offer (not that they needed to think about it a lot...). if i'm lucky enough it all works out fine and my baby is gonna live again. if not i'm gonna CRY. or get drunk or break my foot kicking a light pole on the street. whatever comes to mind first.

so, peoples, pray for me and my baby!!!

mean thing

2008-01-17T18:09:00.001+01:00

i'm being tortured by my colleagues who i share a threesome office with. we were thrown together only recently after a restructuring of teams and office space. i think i was one of very few people who didn't have to move.

instead i now share the room with two girls who both've got macbooks. just to remind you: my only two-year old powerbook g4 passed away about two months ago. well, the motherboard did, its heart so to say. it's a shock of course with a pretty expensive gadget like an apple notebook (new back then: more than 2,200 euros). to fix it would have cost me nearly 1,500 euros. a new macbook, also with a superdrive, is cheaper than that.

anyway, to make my life even more miserable one of my colleagues had her new macbook sent to the office, unpacked it today and played with it. right in front of me. the other one had hers with her as well, so we could have had an apple party if it wasn't for the fact that i'm an apple widow. a very frustrated one.

i'm lucky enough to have friends with a sense of compassion and old powerbooks they don't need at the moment but are still working even if a little slow and without all the extras mine had. i shouldn't complain. i do anyway because I WANT MY BABY BACK!!!

there's a motherboard currently on offer on ebay. yesterday i thought i had come to terms with my lot. today i'm not so sure anymore. i'm really thinking about investing money again but is it worth it? that's the question. bloody bastards. apple should be ashamed of themselves for giving me grief like that and then do nothing about it. it's not right. mope!

i can't afford the motherboard anyway and it's even more frustrating to keep thinking about it. i have to let go... whoooooooohooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo

Apple Customer Support... yeah right!

2008-01-16T18:35:00.002+01:00

Sehr geehrte Frau Wittstock,

vielen Dank für Ihre Mail. Als ich meinen Beschwerdebrief schrieb, war mir durchaus klar, dass ich keine rechtlichen Ansprüche mehr habe, weder Garantie noch Gewährleistung.

Trotzdem fand ich es wichtig, meiner Enttäuschung und meinem Ärger darüber Ausdruck zu verleihen, dass ein vermeintlich hochwertiges und dementsprechend teures Produkt wie das Apple Powerbook G4 nach relativ kurzer Lebensdauer, einfach aufhört zu funktionieren. Das Dramatische daran ist allerdings, dass es nicht nur ein kleines defektes Teil ist, was man für ein paar Hundert Euro ersetzen lassen kann, sondern gleich das Herzstück des Notebooks, das Motherboard. Und dieses Motherboard als Ersatzteil kostet allein ungefähr genauso viel wie ein neues MacBook.

Ich habe mich in mehreren Foren online kundig gemacht und habe herausgefunden, dass mein Fall kein Einzelfall ist. Im Gegenteil, das Motherboard vieler G4 Notebooks scheint innerhalb der ersten zwei Jahre nach Kaufdatum seinen Geist aufzugeben. Bei meinen Recherchen bin ich ebenfalls oft auf eine Verbindung zwischen dem Austauschprogramm der G4 Batterien und dem defekten Motherboard gestoßen. In Hinsicht auf die Gewährleistungspflicht bei elektronischen Geräten scheint mir dies, wenn auch nicht mehr in meinem Fall, für andere Betroffene interessant zu sein, da man so als Käufer vielleicht beweisen könnte, dass das Problem mit dem Motherboard womöglich durch die defekte Batterie ausgelöst wurde, die bewiesenermaßen schon von Anfang an defekt war, also auch zum Zeitpunkt des Kaufs. Und dies wiederum wird abgedeckt durch die Gewährleistungspflicht des Herstellers.

Bezüglich der Reaktion von Apple hätte ich mir gewünscht, dass – wenn solche Fehler schon nicht zu vermeiden sind – zumindest den Betroffenen mehr entgegengekommen wird. Zum Beispiel finde ich es in diesen Fällen angebracht, das Motherboard als Ersatzteil so erschwinglich zu machen, dass sich eine Reparatur lohnt. Ich würde durchaus 300 oder 400 Euro in ein neues Motherboard investieren, um mein G4 Notebook wieder funktionstüchtig zu machen, aber nicht mehr als 1400,- Euro. Dafür dass man schon bei der Anschaffung des G4 deutlich mehr als doppelt so viel bezahlt hat als für ein normales (wie ich zu dem Zeitpunkt dachte aus gutem Grund), wäre dies – meiner bescheidenen Meinung nach – eine angemessene Art, mit diesem Problem umzugehen, ohne seine treuen und wirklich Apple begeisterten Kunden, zu denen ich mich bisher zählte, vor den Kopf zu stoßen.

Ich für meinen Teil werde vorerst meine Apple Begeisterung für mich behalten und nicht mehr Familie, Freunde, Bekannte und Kollegen damit anstecken. Und komischerweise finde ich das sehr schade.

Wie gesagt, vielen Dank für Ihre Mühe und trotz allem freundliche Grüße.

_______________________________________________________
Von: Iris Wittstock [mailto:wittstock.i@euro.apple.com]
Gesendet: Mittwoch, 2. Januar 2008 16:01
Betreff: Ihr Brief an den Applestore vom 14.12.07

Sehr geehrte ...,

vielen Dank fuer Ihren Brief an die Abteilung des deutschen Apple Aftersales.

Ich bedauere zu lesen, dass Powerbook G4, 15 " einen Mangel aufweisst, der nur durch eine Reperatur von 1477,35 EURO zu beheben ist.

Leider koennen wir Ihnen in Bezug auf dieses Problem nicht entgegenkommen, da Sie sich mit Ihrem Produkt mit ca. 14 Montaten weit ausserhalb der Garantie befinden.

Ich bedauere die Umstaende, welche Ihnen hierdurch entstanden sind.

Mit freundlichen Gruessen

Iris Wittstock

Apple Store Customer Support

Apple Operations Europe

Directors: Cathy Kearney (Irish), Gary Wipfler, Peter Oppenheimer & Timothy Cook (United States of America)

my complaint to apple

2008-01-16T18:10:00.001+01:00

Apple Computer International
After Sales Dept.
Hollyhill Industrial Estate
Cork, Republic of IRELAND

Bitte um Stellungnahme

Berlin, den 14.12.2007
Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

Sie fragen in Ihrer Werbung: Warum ein Mac? Ich sage es Ihnen: Mac Computer sind ästhetisch wunderbare, benutzerfreundliche und sehr verlässliche Maschinen, die dem Nutzer nicht nur das Leben leichter machen, sondern auch verschönern.

Am 25.10.2005 habe ich für meinen persönlichen Gebrauch ein 15“ Powerbook G4 gekauft. Ich habe mich damit bewusst gegen einen PC Laptop entschieden, der mir trotz des extremen Preisunterschieds als weniger vertrauenswürdig und verlässlich erschien. Das ist nun ein wenig mehr als zwei Jahre her. Vor zwei Wochen allerdings hat sich mein Powerbook einfach nicht mehr gerührt. Man sagte mir dann im Apple Center, dass die Hauptplatine kaputt sei, das hieße also 1477,35 Euro für eine Reparatur, was einem wirtschaftlichem Totalschaden gleichkommt.

Ich habe im Internet recherchiert und bin dabei auf sehr viele „Mitbetroffene“ gestoßen, deren Mac Notebooks ein ähnliches Schicksal ereilte.

Mein Powerbook G4 ist zu diesem Zeitpunkt gerade mal 2 Jahre alt, so können Sie sicherlich verstehen, dass dies für mich als begeisterten Apple Kunden sehr ärgerlich und enttäuschend ist und mein Vertrauen in Apple Produkte extrem mindert. Da dieses Problem anscheinend recht häufig auftritt und Apple sich dazu nicht äußert oder dem Kunden in irgendeiner Weise entgegen kommt, habe ich große Lust, diesen Missstand als Journalistin auch zu publizieren.

Vielleicht haben Sie jedoch bereits eine Lösung und bieten Ihren Kunden z.B. eine Übernahme der Kosten für die Reparatur an.

Im Anhang finden Sie eine Kopie meines Presseausweis und des Kostenvoranschlags für die Reparatur der defekten Hauptplatine.

Ich verbleibe mit freundlichen Grüßen und in Erwartung einer Antwort innerhalb der nächsten zwei Wochen.

today

2008-01-15T11:56:00.001+01:00

today is another beautifully cold and sunny day and it's gonna be crammed with all kinds of itsy bits that i have to take care of at work. i'm feeling quite optimistic that it's gonna be good today.

and after work i'm going to the swimming pool. i'm actually looking forward to it and that makes me really proud of myself. maybe i should thank the kinesiology woman though because even though i'm constantly planning to do exercise i never get around to it. there's always some excuse. but she made me choose one day of the week and verbally commit to it. magic! the mind is a powerful thing! when you know how to work it that is hehehe.

not finished yet

2008-01-14T12:39:00.000+01:00

Chapter 2: applied kinesiology

ak is a kind of therapy where communication with the body is more important than words that come out of your mouth. the mind can confuse things and make them up and deny stuff but your body remembers everything and if you can read it properly you can find out the truth. that's at least how i understood the theory.

a friend of mine, a devoted fan of kinesiology, recommended this woman to me who's apparently as good as a witch when it comes to solving problems people have. i admit i have some. not the kind of american psycho ones but i got to this point just recently where i am not really desperate but would like to change something or find out what the real problem is in the first place to be able to tackle it.

i was given a session for my birthday from friends and also colleagues (they collected for me... cute, huh!) so off i went to marion freund and astonishingly enough it was a pretty good and relieving experience. with this woman talking to me and asking me stuff and listening to my body rather than my words i wound up crying at one point. i just got really sad about having lost my first little boyfriend in kindergarden when i was 4 because we had to move house to a different part of town. besides the time when i almost drowned as a three year old it's one of the only vivid memories i've got of my early childhood but i never attached any trauma to it. when in response to her question i brought it up she held my head in her hands and told me about how it might have affected me ever since, you know: fear of commitment, of not being loved, of not being heard and the anger and frustration as a result. i got so sad and i didn't know where it came from. extremely odd and also liberating in a way.

she wants me to consult her again in a month's time. i made an appointment and i'd really like to go. the only problem is that it's quite expensive. and although i'm pretty impressed with the session itself and the kind of treatment i don't want to have to get involved in this search for oneself. i'm not having a midlife crisis yet and i'm not in my late thirties fearing to cross the threshold to four zero.

anyhow, it was an amazing experience and if i have 70 euro to spare next month i'll go back and open myself up some more. the thing is that after the session there were so many open questions and also memories and feelings and i think i need to relate them to the ones i had during the session over the weekend. yes. that's it.

in the (k)now

2008-01-07T10:21:00.000+01:00

what's that?

that's what!

bottomline: plastic frames don't suit handsome parking meters

did i really...

2007-11-26T12:30:00.000+01:00

... say it could only get better??? you did? you didn't, did you? well, yes i did. little did i know that i was gonna have another week from hell!

7. my orthopaedist had a serious chat with me the other day. the bottomline was: i'm gonna have to have another operation done. not the right foot this time, no. it's my left hip that needs surgery. it'd be funny if it wasn't so fucked up!

8. my powerbook is dead, well maybe just sick but it seemed pretty dead to me. i took it to an apple store to find out if it can be fixed and if i can afford it, which i can't but what are parents for, hey?

9. i had to send back my new mobile because it's already fucked.

10. i got caught by a speed camera. fuck!

11. bending over is a bitch! coz my back is still hurting from this monster wave that broke over me at the end of my holiday on Gomera. yep! real drama!!! real pain!

there's still a few november days left. luckily i'm not the only one who's having a shit time right now!

this year's worst month award...

2007-11-14T20:05:00.000+01:00

... GOES TO:

november. this month is not even half done and it's already quite clear. the decision was easy:

1. mom is in hospital suffering from an acute loss of hearing. she's already been operated on and may go home tomorrow hopefully.

2. i've already spent too much money this month on presents... duh!

3. work is still a challenge, sometimes in the good sense, right now in the bad sense. don't know why people have to make it so difficult for their employees...

4. had a couple of doctor's appointments but instead of treating their patients doctors nowadays seem to take pleasure in making people wait by chatting to colleagues and then calling people in, whose turn was AFTER me!!! ARRRRGH!

5. it's bloody cold already, which means that this year's winter will be horrible

6. my way to work is being complicated by construction work on my line

it can only get better, hey!

Only YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHUHUHUUUUU!

2007-09-13T10:51:00.000+02:00

... can make all this world seem right!

ewiger dank an meine treue bürogenossin.
und so sieht ewige treue aus...

und schüss punkt

of(f) course!

2007-09-06T17:02:00.000+02:00

word of the week:

wanking widow

ich sach nur: irina palm... hehehehe. guter film!

Honesty and truth

2007-08-28T09:56:00.000+02:00

Is there a difference? If so, what is it? Or does honesty equal truth?

Hmmmm, anyway: the word of the day is "Kloake" - apparently this is the chicken's anus... eeeeeeeek!

And does anyone remember the song: "Aaaahaaall bound for mu mu land, mu mu land". It was 1991. The band was called KLF and the song had the boring title: "Justified and Ancoient". Only my German fellowmen and women will understand that people can have the funniest conversations about this song, totally devoid of meaning. And why else but for the word itself: mu mu land. In German this could well mean vagina land... so much for work and colleagues. Sometimes I fear we're all still underage.

The truth is: I LOVE IT!!!

Honestly!

Beauty at work

2007-08-23T15:39:00.000+02:00

I got a crush on this chick...

Well, who wouldn't?

Satzfragment des Tages

2007-08-17T09:51:00.000+02:00

"Stutenmilch ist der Mutter sehr ähnlich..."

Und gleich noch das Wort des Tages von jestern: Sinnwort.

Das passt, oder? hehehehe

Phüh! MICH herausfordern...

2007-08-15T20:15:00.000+02:00

Mein Wort des heutigen Tages ist: Umstrukturierung. Und da gibt es auch eigentlich noch ein zweites: bald.

And in English: bumblebee. Because my nephew sometimes looks like one when he wears his black and orange striped romper suit...

Hü!

Wort des Tages

2007-08-14T14:15:00.000+02:00

Rennsemmel

> O-Ton Oma über Karlemann <

observations

2007-08-09T13:45:00.000+02:00

1 good coffee needs milk, preferably steamed not just stirred
2 mothers are incredibly multifunctional
3 fathers aren't
4 aunties try
5 not to interfere
6 but also to still be there and help if needed
7 grandmothers would give their right arm
8 grandfathers need patience
9 with their wife and the rest of the family
10 my family is great
11 the rest one has to deal with
12 i guess...

Heute vor... 10 Jahren

2007-07-26T16:41:00.000+02:00

Happy birthday, liebe Milamaus!!!

Jetzt bist Du schon 10 Jahre alt und ich kann mich noch genau an den Tag erinnern, als Du geboren wurdest...

Es war der Sommer meines Schulabschlusses und kurz nach meinen Prüfungen fuhr ich zu meiner hochschwangeren Schwester Jana nach Föhrenbühl, um sie noch einmal zu sehen, bevor ich nach Irland ging. Dort wollte ich mir meine Hörner abstoßen, wie man so schön sagt. Ich blieb länger in Föhrenbühl als geplant und bin zwei Wochen lang fast täglich mit Jana immer wieder ins Krankenhaus gefahren, weil Du einfach nicht aus ihr rauskommen wolltest. Von Föhrenbühl nach Tettnang durch Wälder, kleine Dörfer und kurvige Landstrassen. Ich hatte ein paar Monate vorher meinen Führerschein gemacht und musste mich jedes Mal mit Jana halb streiten, damit ich auch mal fahren durfte. Das war noch zu den Zeiten, als Deine Mutter - trotz dickem Kugelbauch - souverän und selbstsicher mit dem kleinen Fiat Panda Deines Vaters durch die Gegend düste. Seitdem allerdings muss man sie fast zwingen, sich ans Steuer zu setzen, und selbst dann findet sie einen Ausweg, doch nicht fahren zu müssen.

Ich weiß noch, dass ich es kaum erwarten konnte, bis es endlich passierte, denn lange wäre diese Hin und Her Düserei bestimmt nicht mehr gut gegangen. Aber mehr als das wurden wir natürlich alle ungeduldig. Und dann eines Nachts, ich war wieder nach Föhrenbühl gefahren und hatte Jana im Krankenhaus zurücklassen müssen, rief eine Krankenschwester so gegen halb 10 Uhr abends an und meinte es würde jetzt losgehen. Rolf und ich rannten beide zum Auto, um so schnell wie möglich bei Euch in Tettnang zu sein. Das war, glaube ich, das einzige Mal, dass Dein Vater und ich uns ohne Worte verstanden und ein gemeinsames Ziel vor Augen hatten: Dich im Leben willkommen zu heißen.

Als wir ankamen, wurde Rolf sogleich in den Kreißsaal geführt und ich machte es mir im Wartesaal auf einem Plastikstuhl "gemütlich". Irgendwann schlief ich ein und träumte, dass Du geboren wirst. Ich muss Janas und Dein Geschrei in meinen Traum eingebaut haben, denn in diesem Moment weckte mich die Hebamme und verkündete mir mit einem herzlichen Lächeln, dass ich Dich und Jana jetzt sehen dürfte.

Es war zwei Minuten nach Deiner Geburt, als ich Dich das erste Mal sah. Du warst so süß zerknautscht und zerknittert und so zerbrechlich. Und als ich Dich dann im Arm halten durfte, musste ich ganz schön mit den Tränen kämpfen. Du warst ein perfektes kleines Menschlein mit allem Drum und Dran. Auch jetzt, nachdem ich ja Emils und Karls Geburt mehr oder weniger miterlebt habe, ist dieser Augenblick in meiner Erinnerung immernoch als Wunder abgespeichert. Ein schönes Wunder!

Ich bin dann noch ein paar Tage geblieben und nachdem ich Dich 4-Tage alt noch einmal besucht hatte, bin ich zurück, um nach Irland zu fahren.

Aber das ist eine andere Geschichte...

Das kleine Budseldedsel

2007-07-24T17:26:00.000+02:00

Meine Mutter ist Emil's Oma. Emil wird im Oktober 3 Jahre alt und fängt gerade richtig an zu reden und Geschichten zu erzählen. Dabei kommen dann so schöne Wortkreation wie "Pielplatz" aus seinem Munde und man möchte nur noch quieken vor Freude.

Vor ein paar Tagen war meine Schwester Jana, also Emils Mutter, abends verabredet, und so sollte - wie so oft - die Oma den Emil ins Bett bringen. Emil allerdings fand das ganz schön doof und anstatt weiter "Omadehsden" zu rufen (Oma und Opa, Mama und Emil planten am nächsten Tag zu Oma und Opa nach Dresden zu fahren), brüllte er von nun an nur noch "Mamarunter... Mamarunter!", denn Emil, seine Mama, sein Papa und Schwester Mila wohnen im selben Haus wie ich, und zwar zwei Stockwerke tiefer. Logischerweise ereignete sich also dieser Teil der Geschichte in Berit's, Karl's und meiner Wohnung.

Dazu muss man sagen, dass Emil ein sehr gewaltiges Organ hat, wenn er will. Und er wollte. Auch sonst so hilfreiche Ablenkungsmanöver wie "Guck mal, ein Auto!" während man ihn auf die Arme nimmt und ans Fenster stellt, wollten partout nicht funktionieren.

Oma, Opa und Tante, also ich, waren ratlos. Einziger Lichtblick: es war Schlafenszeit für den Kleinen, der offensichtlich schon SEHR kleine, jedoch zum Trotz weit aufgerissene Augen hatte. Und so nahm Oma sich ein Herz und ging mit Emil mamarunter. Opa und Tante blickten ihr mit mitleidigem Blick hinterher, heilfroh, dass sie das mamalose Kind nicht würden ins Bett bringen müssen.

Zwei Stunden später war Mama wieder da und Oma berichtete uns von ihren Abenteuern mit Emil, dem Sturkopp: "MAMAAAAAAA... ICH WILL MEINE MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ein Heuler muss nix dagegen gewesen sein. Oma war durch ihr gesamtes Repertoire an Liebkosungen, Versprechungen, Ablenkungen und auch Drohungen gegangen. Nix wollte klappen. Emil schrie unbeeindruckt weiter... bis Oma etwas sagte, dass mich glatt in meine Zeit als dreijähriger Hosenscheisser zurückkatapultierte: "Ach, mein Putzekätzel, die Mama kommt doch gleich!"

Emil hörte auf der Stelle auf zu schrein, sah Oma an und fragte zaghaft: "Bis du auch mein Budseldedsel?"

The haunted crawl

2007-07-24T16:48:00.000+02:00

My back is pretty much fucked and so it has become more than clear to me that I need to do something about it... and not only talk about it for ages.

So what do I do? I search for my swim gear which I haven't used for more than a year and a half AND look for someone to kick my butt. Both was successful. I've got my swim suit and goggles AND a swim teacher, the lovely Marieke.

Lesson one: how to do the crawl

Since Marieke-Baby really used to be a swim teacher, I've got the best butt-kicker there is. It was fun but didn't help much because for some reason or other I seem to be afraid of drowning. The crawl is easy enough, I just can't get my head around being relaxed and doing the breathing routine in a relaxed way, and that's kinda supposed to the point! I always end up panicking after a bit and then I choke on the water that I breathe in because I'm panicking...

Analysis: maybe almost having drowned as a three-year old has fucked me up a little after all.

I remember not being afraid at all when I fell into the water... I even remember thinking that I might find my beloved turtle Susi that we had lost during the same summer holidays at the lake. Susi ran away because we left her to herself in our little self-made sand castle and all went into the water, me being supposed to watch her but not wanting to miss out on anything... kids!

mmmmhhhhh... the things you find out sometimes...

The question is: does my beloved turtle Susi still haunt me? Or is it me who can't let go of her? hmmmm, my fear of drowning must have a deeper meaning... Or is it the name Susi that's got me all loopy???

I would if I could... flowers for the dead...

CSI Berlin

2007-06-28T20:53:00.000+02:00

Today! Detective Ingale investigates the violent death of a cat...

Was it murder? An accident? Post-adolescent male spontaneity in Police uniform? Or was it sympathy with a dying creature that would have suffered even more if one tried to go by the rules?

After talking to the press officer I'm still clueless. Apparently, the scenario was similar to the latter one above. I was told that Police officers kill animals all the time when they're "in distress", as he put it. He meant the animals, of course!

But I should be fair and tell the whole story as objectively as I can:
something flies past someone's window. This someone finds a still live cat and lets it back into the house. Not knowing whose cat it is, he calls the police to find exactly that out and heads off to an appointment. When he comes back home, he inquires about the cat and is told that the police shot it in the courtyard.

This someone tells a friend about this rather odd story, knowing that his friend is working with a TV station called PET.TV. The friend then conducts inquiries by himself and thus becomes the unfortunate person who has to pass on the sad news to the cat owner.

Worse still, he tells his superiors at work and thus I enter the picture. So off I go to the Police station, a little nervous but well prepared with a copy of the animal rights act, excerpts of the police regulations and wise words from all my colleagues.

After an odyssee of different bus and train rides I finally get there and am immediately referred to the press office located in the headquarters building, right next to Tempelhof airport . When I get there at six p.m., some special unit guy is in the middle of trying to convince the heavyset lady at the reception desk to give him some key or other so he can set up a command centre. I'm waved through and climb the stairs.

No polite small talk, straight down to business while still standing. The press officer seems nervous but it could also just be annoyance at having to deal with some woman from the press, who's going to spoil the early return home.

He explains the scenario and brushes all my questions aside with surprised smiles, reassuring nods and soothing talk: "It's quite normal" he tells me when I ask him if it's not an unusual case to shoot an animal in the middle of a residential area, when there are certain regulations as to how to deal with dangerous or wounded animals and also about the use of firearms in public unless urgently necessary.

Detective Ingale asks all the right questions, maybe not as determined as some of my colleagues would have but I'm happy. After reporting all that to my superior and admitting to some doubts as to the media potential of the story, she claims: "This is a story! I tell you!"

I've still got a lot to learn! Lesson number one: even the police will lie when they make mistakes. Lesson number two: even if they don't lie, as a journalist you're better off not believing them anyway. Otherwise you might be found out to be too gullible for the business...

So long i

Everything's possible!!!

2007-03-01T17:30:00.000+01:00

Long time, no write. Not that I've unlearned how to but apart from the usual day to day routine there's been a helluva lot going on. One of the major things that's been giving me headaches recently is a party project I got involved with. It started out as a funny idea and now it's actually happening. If you're in Berlin, check it out! If not, watch our little clip on the right. It's not great film art but it was fun shooting and editing it and it kinda gives you an idea where this project is headed. It's all about good music and funfunfun! And girls, of course!

Let's see if Berlin is ready for us!

And that's what it looks like when a group of girls get together to put ideas into practice

2007-03-01T17:20:00.000+01:00

A couple of... what? pairs of shoes? Rights? Wrongs... uhm lefts?

Our star!

Soon UNtied!

3 - 2 - 1 - 28! Ça se fête

2007-01-16T13:55:00.000+01:00

Only three days to go:

The rest is silence.

Cowboys, noses, smiley faces, a kiss and a baby

2006-12-15T15:18:00.000+01:00

Putting up photos is all I can do right now. I attended my first company x-mas party last night. I guess that explains it, doesn't it! Unfortunately I missed all the fun stuff because to the surprise of our partying bosses most of the "youngsters" went home pretty early. Still, I knew I'd have to be fit for the early morning babysitting session with Karlito. I'm soooo responsible. It's scary...

Jean Reno versus Nick the Nose. All we did that night was talk about sex. Funny how that happens eventually. Well, Oi loike it!

Two pictures made on the same day or night, respectively. In the morning I said g'bye to Mark the Spark because he was already fed up with me and Berlin after 3(!) days and so I subjected him to a photo session before going to work. I guess you can see that I was pretty tired. BUT I did look better later that day. I got a make-over by Henriette and then the beautiful lady with the pursed lips accompanied me to a ball. Very interesting experience. I think the lot of us dropped the average age to something like 45 to 50. At around 2 it started to get pretty wild though. We enjoyed it.

And last but not least, I'll indulge a little in my auntiehood. Cute, hey!

For all you German speakers

2006-12-09T23:23:00.000+01:00

Klick on tier.tv, watch our clips and read the blog! Not that it's anything special, it's just an idea of what I'm doing. Also, the blog keeps you up to date with the latest curious pet news. You wanna know whoi Oi know that? You wanna know whoi? Because I'm a bitch and I write the bloody thing.

Look, Oi don't agree but Oi think it's noice, and yes also different, aaaand unuuuuusual!

Welcome to Germyland!

2006-12-08T15:38:00.000+01:00

I'm going to be witnessing one of my best friend's wedding in a couple of weeks. Even her mother will make her way over here to Berlin from Melbourne honouring the occasion with her presence. A big deal for Jess!
Congrats honey! I hope I won't disappoint you in my first apparition as a bridesmaid...
This is going to be a full-on party weekend. Good thing it's x-mas then. Two weeks off!!!

New experiences that I need to share with someone

2006-11-15T11:13:00.000+01:00

Okay, so for the first time ever in my life I stood in front of a supermarket at ten to 8 this morning, waiting for it to open and let me buy stuff for work. The funny thing is I was even the first one to be served at the cash point. I couldn't believe it! The only times I can remember ever having been so early anywhere to buy something were hungry and drunken attempts at filling the empty hole inside of me, which alcohol and cigarettes leave behind after a big night out.
And THEN - this not being enough pioneership and bravery in the face of an early morning - I was the very first one to be at the office. For a whole 15 minutes my footsteps were the only thing that filled the pre-work air with still-alcohol-ladden shuffling sounds.

Back to work...

Thanx!

2006-11-14T17:37:00.000+01:00

Someone just told me about a videostore desk bitch with a serious pole up her arse. I almost fell off my IKEA chair!
And tomorrow I'll witness the realisation of a tv format, which I conceptualised. I'll try and keep my tears from crying a river towards timberland... oooh! uuh! eeeh!

Sheep plus murder = Glennkill

2006-11-09T13:53:00.000+01:00

Latest news from the editorial office at Tier.TV:

Sheep are different. Still, they can solve murder among (wo)men . If you don't believe me, read this:

Or watch our (my!!!) programme in December (you might have to search for it, because we'll be aired on a few different channels from December on. March 2007 - or so it is hoped - is final take-off for our own channel!) Fun stuff.

And now: Speaker's Corner.

I had to spend hours in the cold yesterday, stopping people on their way to whereever they were going to try and convince them to give a statement about animal protection in front of a camera. Instantly I can think of 4572365 nicer things to pass working time with. People can be nasty...

R.I.P. - she died with studentenfutter in her hand

2006-10-30T16:45:00.000+01:00

See, I'd rather die with a falafel in my hand but it seems that it'll be a bag of mixed nuts and fruit (which they call student's chow here in Germyland). See also: I'm not even a bloody student anymore and I still have to eat that stuff, otherwise I might die due to a lack of nutrition (which is called malnutrition in a lot of countries).

The bottom line of these highly philosophical statements is: I'M HUNGRY! And I still need to sit here for another hour with nothing to do because nobody seems to bother to share their recently upgraded knowledge with me. Thing is, I'm not only hungry but also BORED to death, which is why there's a good chance for me to die with my head stuck to my keyboard and a bag of nuts in my hand. I'd rather hold someone's hand or so but there's no-one sharing my office with me and so nobody will even notice if I die apart from the cleaning lady who comes here early in the morning every day of the week but then it'd be too late for resuscitation... I know, you know! I keep myself up to date by reading crime fiction.

And now: I'M SCARED! How can people die with falafels in their hand? Is that only an Oz phenomenon? Is it contagious? Would I look like this guy in the picture, even if it is a bag of nuts in my hand?

If you don't hear from me any time soon, call the cleaning lady! Or watch the film!

Ola olé!

2006-10-23T14:23:00.000+02:00

Apart from a severe lack of sleep I'm doing much better than last time, if anyone is interested. I mean yesterday and the day before I was doing even better because my supervisor gave me some real positive feedback on Friday on stuff that I don't have a clue about. Everyone was really proud of me, even myself. Today I had to find out though that she's basically being a nice boss to me because I'm only a trainee. Means: I don't know much, I can't do much, but she thinks I learn fast. Which I do! I think...

Did you know that organic products are sooooo much better for you? Well, I did but now I DO. Not that I'm earning any money apart from the necessary but I'm starting to feel weird about buying supermarket food. I might actually become a better person doing this job. Crazy!

And now some insiders for my regular audience: Did you know that Berlin actually DOES drown in dogshit? Well, I knew but now I KNOW: dogs all over the city leave about 55 TONS of dogshit behind DAILY!!!

What about a forum discussion on that one... then again: who cares? I don't live in Friedrichshain, the kingdom of the dogshitters. No offense!

Not thief-proof

2006-10-11T17:41:00.001+02:00

I reckon this is not my month, not in many ways anyway. Not like last month or next month. October is officially my favourite hate-month. Bad luck whereever I go. First that thing with my big toe (believe me! All you need to know is that it hurt like hell... because then you can give me some sympathy!!!), then biological circumstances that I don't need to go into either. And THEN I lose money that does not even belong to me. Well, I guess I should look on the bright side: I made someone REALLY happy. Could also have been worse. I mean, someone could have stepped on my toe or something...

The good news is: I can pay back the lost money with money that doesn't belong to me either. See how long it takes for the office to demand their money back... or how long it takes for my bank account to die of malnutrition... or how long it takes for some Star Trekkies from the future to come and rescue us from those worldly necessities like the dependency on paper slips with numbers and copper engraved heads of weird and infamously famous people...

Manipulating the mind, take one

2006-10-04T16:58:00.000+02:00

Just so you don't think (you think?) I'm only ever going to be a proud auntie from now on...

While I'm being a proud auntie I'm manipulating my faithful readers with some clever product placement. The only downside is: most of my faithful readers were part of the production of the cleverly placed product... can't have everything, hey! But maybe I can cleverly suggest to them that buying even more copies of the masterpiece GLEISDREIECK for themselves is equivalent to instant karma and frowning babies? You think? (again?)

Bubbles and Gleisdreiecks i

José!

2006-09-19T12:57:00.000+02:00

I'm currently reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which the title of today's blog entry is referring to (just in case you don't know why things are happening the way they're happening). I should be far too busy to update the world about my exciting little life, then again I think it's important that I do. I'm convinced that it makes a difference. At least to some poor buggers that call themselves my friends.

Anyways, I've spent 3 and a half weeks in the working world so far. Amazing changes include:
1. friends and family think that my job is my hobby... my mother wants to give me books about pets and animals, even though it's not my birthday any time soon and I never expressed any such wish. Also, my girlfriend calls me to make sure I don't miss the great BBC special on the animal world on telly. What the? (little insider for people who've read what I'm reading)
2. no surfing the net in my spare time anymore... I'm spending enough time in front of a screen as it is while I'm at work (I'm actually using this expression now: "at work..." weird, huh!)
3. days have become so long all of a sudden... true and false at the same time. They are longer because I can read the clock and I know that getting up at 8 is early (for me at least). They are shorter because time goes by really quickly when you've got stuff to do, so all of a sudden it's 6 p.m. and you're on your way home and wondering what the? you were doing all day.
4. Kleinvieh macht auch Mist... working is expensive: coffee, smokes, food, treats, public transport etc. Realisation: I need more money!

Amazing constants:
1. I'm still not a morning person.
2. I still hate having to think about money.
3. I still need to think about money.
4. There's a LOT of people that I'd love to see more regularly.
5. Foot and I are still together and trying to work through our problems.
6. Sunday is Sunday is Sunday.

Amazing changes to come:
1. Baby poop and heart-breaking, eardrum-bursting crying on a regular basis. Mostly at night.
2. More defined and darker circles around my eyes.
3. More people running away from me, especially in the morning.
4. Panic attacks from settling-down-phobia (girlfriend, job, family... the boring existence of a "normal" person is waiting around the corner...) Am I ever going to go back to Melbourne again??? Will I be stuck and not notice forever and ever and ever?

Olé José! What the? You're going to catch a colder. Which I already know.

Jedi&Co

2006-08-17T15:20:00.000+02:00

May I introduce you to the Sailor's Union Return Committee: Phonejunkie Nin.A, Horsewhisperer Skully Indelicato, Generalissima Constipatina, Eagle Eye Handsup and the Smiling Famosa Blueshirt. The talented photographer is behind the camera. Unfortunately you cannot see her but maybe you're lucky after all...

It was an adventure BUT like many others this one had a happy end: the Jedi returned and saved the committee from committing too much.

Enough of words, let the pictures speak for themselves:

Where was the Peabutnutter???

2006-08-09T00:01:00.000+02:00

You might wonder what the peabutnutter might be but we don't know either because it wasn't there...

This is just to say that, unlike the peabutnutter who wasn't there, we finally made it into the annals of film culture! I don't want to brag or anything but Gleisdreieck, our brilliant little masterpiece of a short film featured on a relatively big festival-screen last week and will do again this week: on the same day as the very long awaited return of the Jedi, Marieke and Buddy (the latter apparently gutless...).

David (he did well in front of the audience!) and my lovely self were at the Shorts at Moonlight film festival (an open-air event that lasts four weeks and takes place in old and partly ruined castles scattered around Frankfurt/Main) to watch our little babyfilm crawl over a big screen for the first time. It was lucky because it happened in front of a very warm and benevolent audience who ooohed and aaaahed and giggled and laughed all the way through the film and most importantly in the right spots!!! To give them even more credit: it wasn't only quite chilly but also drizzling away right from the beginning but the audience was a tough cookie. No-one complained or anything. Amazing!
I must admit that it almost brought tears to my eyes (even though you might think me a big bit sensitive...) to sit among the crowd and watch Gleisdreieck with them. It was like watching it for the very first time again. It made me very proud to have been a part of its making. (The picture might ring a bell with the insiders...)

And since this is the kind of environment for devious displays of ugliness and horror, I will leave you with two self-portraits and a shot of my little nephew in spe and myself to judge for yourself if and how much sanity there still exists in this world of mine...

Is this a sane member of society, or what! She's also going to be triple auntie soon, so watch out for some crazy stuff... right here!

All you need is... three feet dummdadummdadah

2006-06-19T21:17:00.000+02:00

Since today's glorious morning I am a three-legged and one-crutch-handed almost-human being again. Yey to all the little fairies and monsters that kept me crutching! Since I'm taking care of myself (because the doctor's practice where I used to go is a twit-house and the surgeon, who fiddled around with foot while I was unconscious, is too hot-shot for me to be a regular patient... so much for public health insurance...) I decided it's time for me to reclaim my naughtiness and take the plunge into tripediality (Latin meaning: two (almost) functioning human feet supported by a crutched foot). I'm experimenting here but as long as foot is not complaining I'll just keep doing it.

I watched the Socceroos play against Brazil yesterday. We cheered and clapped and booed and aaaahed in a beergarden that was predominantly crowded by lethargic and geeky Brazil fans. We did well though, even when the Aussies started losing. Well, our support didn't help much I guess but at least the Brazilians had to put up a good fight before they could walk off the field and wallow in their laborious victory. Go Oz!!!

Afterwards two beautiful ladies and me moved on to some major summer worshipping at the EastBeach (Oststrand), a river beach bar that is enclosed by remnants of the wall on one side and the river Spree on the other. We sat and laughed next to the East Side gallery, which still serves as the city's history-ladden open-air canvas. I'm not an expert but some spots deserve better!

It was eerie to think about the fact that where we were sitting and enjoying each other's company, people used to get shot at because they were sick and tired of paternalism and punishment for each and every non-conform action and opinion...

The inner-city sunset in the sand was gorgeous though and worth the painful experience of watching the fight and defeat against Brazil. Then again, it's not such a shameful failure after all, since it was Brazil and not just SOME team that the Socceroos lost against. The Brazilians definitely didn't deserve the 2nd goal as far as I'm concerned. If Ronaldo&Co hadn't been so damn lucky, the Socceroos would have kicked some butt there.

And now back to the studio...

and so it is...

2006-05-05T19:00:00.001+02:00

just like you said it should be,
we both forget the breeze most of the time...

I read you, liebste Marieke! Everytime I hear the song I see Natalie Portman walk down a busy street in slow motion. I didn't like the film too much but she was bloody amazing... anyways, we are passed on to the Indigo Girls:

closer I am to fine...

and now beware of our tophat graduation party!

Geezuz merry'n jouzeff! This bloody picture uploading doesn't bloody work... ( it does now!!!) well, I guess you're just going to have to imagine Erik, Suse and me in black suits with black tophats and bowties sitting next to each other and being awfully excited to be given our official G'bye from a longstanding relationship with our beloved English department.

The party afterwards was very golden and filled with a lot of beer and sausage and flying tophats. There was this crutch-operating tophat-flying person who sat next to the dancefloor and got totally pissed watching her mates dance wildly to the music of the Golden Times, a band made up of our most appreciated non-fellow students...

By the way, i look quite funny when I'm drunk and trying to hail a taxi (sorry, no more evidence here:)... On my way up the stairs I fell up the bloody things three times. Ivo almost fell down the stairs pissing herself laughing at my drunken attempts to crawl upstairs to my bed, which was desperately crying out for me. I got bruised overcoming all the obstacles that kept us apart but eventually I made it. I didn't have time to be grumpy with Ivo when we eventually lay next to each other in bed. I pretty much fell asleep straight away (well, that's at least the official version...)

Righty, and so it is that I'm sitting here and I'm very proud of my very much admired friend of the lovely name Marieke! Baby, you rock! kuss i

Some kind of bird

2006-04-01T21:05:00.000+02:00

The Making Of of our little film Gleisdreieck is now officially finished! Yey! We're officially registered with the Cannes Short Film Corner. Another Yey! My sister has officially moved in with me (even though it's only her stuff that's moved in. I haven't seen her here yet. Apparently she rather spends time at her boyfriend's place...) and I've officially got my very own logo now! Yey to Johannes! It's some kind of bird...

Well, foot and me are going alright, meaning we're not going so well as in we're one-footed but we're good anyway... Not that I'm getting used to being a crutcho but you need to do what you need to do, I guess. The countdown has started. only fifteen weeks to go! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!

skinny legs

2006-03-24T11:10:00.000+01:00

As a lot of you guys know I'm NOT a morning person, never have been, never will be. And now I've got an even better excuse to not get up than just being a grumpy bugger: the prospect of hobbling and crutching around, of manoeuvering on one foot in the shower, in the kitchen, in the lounge room... You know what happens when everything happens on only one foot? I was shocked this morning when I had a look at my legs dangling from the bed: one is at least fifty percent bigger than the other!!! I'm a one-sided skinny-legs vs. massive-legs crutch operator! Looks awfully strange.
Well, I still get up in the morning (midday) and do the routine (which takes more than an hour right now). I still shower and make coffee. I even do some work! I sent off an article for a possible book pulication yesterday. Was very proud of myself. Now I've only got two deadlines left until the end of the month. One is the Making Of of our little film, the other urges me to get more transcriptions done! Which reminds me...

Have to run (hahahahahaaaaaah)

hospital report

2006-03-15T11:35:00.000+01:00

Back from the nirvana of Spandau. Now I've got my very own hospital story to tell! You might not be able to fathom how important this is BUT after 4 days of two old ladies on either side of my bed (me in the middle of it all) telling me their love, life, family AND hospital histories, having a story of your own is like having attained a membership to a very special club! Better than a TV soap. 24 hour entertainment and all for free! See, one of them was almost deaf, so whenever she got going the other one would not be able to make her opinions and - no doubt - highly significant stories heard and that would upset her a little bit. Little Inga caught in the middle would try to do her best as a talk master or mediator but it always ended (well, it never ended but that's another story...) with the other one exploding her unheard stories into my ears when the deaf lady eventually got distracted.

Anyway, I escaped the never-ending story last Friday and since then I'm experiencing the ups and downs of a life as a physically impaired Berliner. I don't really do much but what I do takes a LLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNG time. The simplest things suddenly become missions impossible. but don't worry: I will survive! It's only another 4 and a half months after all... no big deal! (I hope you noticed the underlying sarcasm in this statement... whinge!)

Ok, and now enjoy the photo of sick foot and healthy foot! (Please notice the pattern of my new couch! Nice, ey!). The other one shows me in my new surroundings: my sick corner including a physiotherapeutical device with which I can do physio for beginners without leaving the house!!!

Who wants to be a millionaire?

2006-03-05T22:02:00.000+01:00

Moi! Of course, who wouldn't... it's still going to take a while but HEY! I got your attention, didn't I?

This is my last entry as a hospital virgin. There's nothing much to tell but whinge on and on about soon being a crutch operator. Sounds good as a job description, doesn't it?

Anyway, my mobile is allowed to be my guard and contact to the outside world while I'm lying sick in a hospital bed, so if you want to talk to me DO!!! Number: +49 (0)176 20955370.

For Berliners I'll just put up the address as well, since you might happen to be somewhere as remote as Spandau: Havelklinik, Gatower Str. 191 in Spandau, very close to the Havel...

All the best, me luvly ladies and gentlemen! kisskisskiss i

Go figure...

2006-02-23T13:54:00.000+01:00

So, I have this perfectly athletic body (minimal degree of exaggeration here) and then this: after only twenty-seven something years it starts disintegrating like Germany’s economy...

Look at my right foot, for example: It’s a handsome, hard-working, talented symbiosis of bone and flesh, an indispensable member of the Inga society – but it seems to be unhappy, or at least parts of it, so that an insubordinate piece of my anklebone (little fucker! I called it Inga society BUT it’s not a bloody democracy! It’s a dictatorship, for heaven’s sake!!!) decided that it wants to go travelling. Maybe become a part of my elbow or hipbone. They might need some help there... What about my foot, though??? Has this little shit piece of anklebone forgotten that it serves a great purpose? The purpose being that without it Inga needs to invest time and energy into letting outsiders teach my bones subordination (how embarrassing!). But the worst is that it keeps me from going around in the world and passing on my skills and wisdom.

I’ve started noticing other insubordinate parts of my body. I’ll need to act quickly and make them learn the hard way, I think. Even if it means that I might have to use some pretty rough measures like whips and chains… Well, if I don’t write soon again this little illegal body part revolution will have succeeded… BUT I’ll come back and get them good! Promise!

Epilogue: I've got a new couch. VERY comfortable, VERY practical (it's one of those bed couches - or couch beds?), and extremely UGLY!!! If I get too comfortable on it I just have to look down and OOOPS! I'll be up on my feet (well, my one foot...) in no time! And if I WANT to get too comfortable then I'll just need to wear shades or something. Hmmmm.

Goode Dag

2006-02-10T19:41:00.000+01:00

This language switch has no deeper meaning. I'm not even sure I spelled it correctly... Anyone proficient in Dutch???

Well, that was not the point of today's exercise, which - apropos exercise - will develop into some sort of an unachievable challenge soon because it is official now: me and my right foot are going to hospital beginning of March to have our first and hopefully only operation experience. This is not part of a docu soap but it should be, I think! What is more dramatic than a young woman and her SICK foot (fully sick, mate!) fighting against the odds, overcoming their fears and nightmarish visions of the future... whhoooowhhoooooowhhhooooooooooooohhhhhhh! Soooooo sad, 'n't...

Right... left.... I mean... sick. Well. that's life, hey! Let's be optimistic and welcoming of the hospital days to come, the odour of sickness and death, the heavyset nurses from hell, the boredom, the - whhoooooowhoooooowhhhooooooohhhhhhh - loneliness, the desperation, the PAIN!

Thinking about it - and I've also talked to my foot about it - we might reconsider the making of this gruesome experience... then again, if we don't face it now we might have to go in sometime later and then they might NOT be able to save us from... ourselves and... more PAIN!

Good, I think talking to yous helped. After all those arguments me and foot had in the previous week I'm quite delighted that we're still happy and together.

Life is good after all and love still sucks!

5...4...3...2...1.......WHHOOOOAAAAAAAAA

2006-02-03T17:26:00.000+01:00

This is a last-minute film postproduction note... Voice-overs for the New Years party scene are still being recorded and edited and I'm (or I should be) busy with last-minute organising of things like a screen for tomorrow's world premiere. The red carpet is also still missing and someone has to get some booze to get everyone down and dirty!!! The rest is up to the boyz who've been bloody working their arses off the last couple of weeks. I'm impressed! Not only by them but also with this very resourceful little postproduction studio, where 3 guyz would usually ruin everything but they actually live in a really nice, eventful, tidy (!!!) place. Well, the only downside: it's somewhere as remote as the Himalaya if you live south of the city centre. And now that I've had to sell the GigglySistersMobil (meaning the Berlin family car) it's a bummer to get to or back. Okay, so I'm a whinger but I just don't feel at home anywhere but in Xberg. It's mah hood, roight!

And just so you don't miss out on anything important or not sooo important in my life: I've become a celebrity family chef. My sister is finally pregnant and moving in with me in a couple of months (whose idea was that???). Monday and last night I didn't go to bed alone. Last night's adventure is going to evaluate my cooking skills next week. mmmhhh... scotspotting is out and oma's welt sucks coz nuzzing noo in ze zoo...

Apologies but I've only had three hours of sleep last night and I still feel a little drunk even though it's almost dinner time... what should that tell me??? I wonder...

2006-02-01T19:10:00.000+01:00

Tubing around

Posted by Ingale

2006-02-01T19:00:00.000+01:00

Meat me in London!

Posted by Ingale

2006-02-01T18:53:00.000+01:00

Uncontrollable! King Kong Club presents... The Uncontrollables

Posted by Ingale

Mini-Berlinale

2006-01-28T15:26:00.000+01:00

A new generation of film makers will be challenging the Berlinale with their own little film premiere. Stars and starlets will fight over who'll be first on the red carpet. It's going to be crazy!!!
So, anyone who's around for February 4th, come to where the flavour is and join us for the film event of the year!
Check out http://www.ahsi-deluxe.de/erik/gleisdreieck.jpg

Right, I returned from a short trip to London a few days ago. It was the most relaxing HOLIDAY I've had in years even though I was with two couples. They behaved themselves though so we had an awesome time! Yey London! Yey funfunfun!

Yey filmfilmfilm! be there or be ... somewhere else

2006-01-18T16:42:00.001+01:00

war zone... the dumbest custom of all: fireworks

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:38:00.001+01:00

the night before New Years

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:38:00.000+01:00

romanticism

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:37:00.000+01:00

snowy mountains

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:35:00.001+01:00

not cold... NOT collll.....RRRRRR

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:35:00.000+01:00

interior shoot (and for all the Germans: this is Detlev Buck's apartment!)

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:32:00.000+01:00

behind the scenes...

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:30:00.001+01:00

a scene from the master piece

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:30:00.000+01:00

Practicing for New Years

Posted by Ingale

2006-01-18T16:27:00.000+01:00

Whooooooohh!

Posted by Ingale

night.inga.le

Arcade Fire oder Talking Heads

Beat the ReEper

action auf irisch - the guard

apple, jobs and the hereafter

neighbours

4 in 1 or what is egg salad made of?

wednesday

make-up or number two of 1pptw

my favouritest shoes

kunst

sonne draußen, icke drinnen

alltagsweisheit

more than ONE good reason to read SPIEGEL

Kulturtipp "Isch bin ein Börliner"

die wahren worte des tages

moogle gaps

vampires and werewolves

rain and sunny patches

poetic but just misunderstood

help!

this morning

unwort des tages

the book of faces

dinner time

notorious

a question for my male readers

i wish!

funny berlin

almost

turkish delights

doris day in da house

the swine in you

scharf und schärfer

blum, ein wolf mit vornahm "butter",

go gertrude go gertrude go gertrude go

the death of a rose

rehearsal

geköpfte rosen

TAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

LEUUUUUUUUDE!!!

mean thing

Apple Customer Support... yeah right!

my complaint to apple

today

not finished yet

in the (k)now

did i really...

this year's worst month award...

Only YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHUHUHUUUUU!

of(f) course!

Honesty and truth

Beauty at work

Satzfragment des Tages

Phüh! MICH herausfordern...

Wort des Tages

observations

Heute vor... 10 Jahren

Das kleine Budseldedsel

The haunted crawl

CSI Berlin

Everything's possible!!!

And that's what it looks like when a group of girls get together to put ideas into practice

3 - 2 - 1 - 28! Ça se fête

Cowboys, noses, smiley faces, a kiss and a baby

For all you German speakers

Welcome to Germyland!

New experiences that I need to share with someone

Thanx!

Sheep plus murder = Glennkill

R.I.P. - she died with studentenfutter in her hand

Ola olé!

Not thief-proof

Manipulating the mind, take one

José!

Jedi&Co

Where was the Peabutnutter???

All you need is... three feet dummdadummdadah

and so it is...

Some kind of bird